Camera Craziness and Motorcycle Madness in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

Good day to you kind whatever you consider yourself,

Let’s talk about some craziness involving my camera situation and madness that can only ensue when you jump on the back of a smiling motorcycle taxi dude in the craziest traffic I’ve ever seen, pure madness, man I love this stuff.

First, I drink waaaaaayyyy to much of this cough syrup last night. It is supposed to last 5 days, I just chugged it to “speed up the process”, mistake. After like I dunno 30 minutes I did not feel well, at all. I start reading the label and taking to much is a bad thing, why am I telling you this? Simply because I’m DJ EXHAUSTO and if I didn’t update this shiz everyday, I’d be sleeping or or laying face down on a filthy guest house bathroom floor.

I passed out last night at 4am and at 9am, this dude was fixing his motorcycle aka revving it like crazy non stop, (there is a gecko crawling near my screen, I love geckos) while another guy was nailing these spikes into steel or something, so loud, non stop. Then again, there IS a curfew here, when in Rome, whatever. The cough syrup and ridiculous amounts of raw ginger did the trick though, sorta.

~flicks ash in old coke can~

Wake up like a zombie, but I have stuff to do. I’m so NON ROUTINIZED that the fact I have a trip tomorrow, it is bothering me. I hate having things organized whatsoever. I mean it’s almost a drag. Anyways I get up and meet Mr. X, we drink coffee and call my Aussie friend about the Mekong Delta Trip, “he’s in”.

Blah blah blah, find a nice Canon camera for 270US and I’m like ok, all my old cards fit, all my spare battery packs fit, this is good. Go next door, find it cheaper, even better. Buy it with great vigor and zeal and Mr. X drops me off. I offer to pay him, he says “no problem”. He takes off, into the messy traffic.

Take all these photos, I’m dedicated to this blog, despite the fact that NONE OF YOU ever comment, you lazy sacks, I know you come here. Then again, most other travel blogs only get comments from other travel bloggers like some big travel blogger circle …. hah, I just derailed my train of thought.

~flicks ash~

At 3:30 I meet the Aussie and he is with the British Blokes, 1 guy is 100% in, other is maybe. I call Mr. X and he comes to meet us, after meeting Mr. X the last guy is like “I’m in”. I’m sure I could have bargained more but if we’re trusting our life with this guy and it’s cheaper anyways, why not let Mr. X be thrilled about the deal and treat us proper.  3 days 2 nights on our own boat with hotel and 2 guides in a boat that fits 20 people in the Mekong Delta, hahaha.

Anyways the camera is crap, half the time I take a photo of stuff moving it’s blurry and the video has like a line in the middle. I’m mad, upset and annoyed. It’s getting dark and stores are closing soon so I do a backflip down the center of the stair case and land in a fish bowl before drying my feet off and sprinting through the streets to find a trusty “moto man”. I come to this big gang and says “WHO WANTS TO DRIVE ME 10 minutes for 30,000dong ($1.50us) all these dudes wake up, smile and jockey. This one guy caught my eye (not like that) as he was first up and I take him.

~pitches smoke out window~

We get there, explain to the guys I can’t have this camera… It’s not good enough.  My old one was like $500US before tax in 2007, it’s so dope. It’s a first gen flip cam, it’s like a James Bond cam. These point and shoot are vanilla like working for a crappy corporation and getting a fake watch before you leave.

Anyways, they don’t want it back. I just stand there like a kid selling cookies until finally he takes his calculator and offers me $210 for the camera, I take the calculator and punch in $220, he looks at me, I look at him with a smile and say “you just made $10 for nothing man” he gives me the cash we bounce. Get back give him the 30,000 and we have a a big laugh as I thank him for helping me ditch that crap.

I went to the canon dealer and they MAY be able to back order me a new one of this discontinued model. The lcd screen flips around every which way, so I can be on the back of a moto fliming intense traffic, I can walk through crowds with the camera low while keeping an eye on the LCD, it’s hands down coolest camera I’ve ever seen. Those big ones are for dorks haha. Like, what next, am I going to carry a god d@mn purse? How do you club with one of those, it has to fit in your pocket.

On a side note, reading Canadian news makes me want to slit my wrists with a plastic airplane knife. In Canada, some dude drown going to his ice fishing hut and now some “not sure what to call them” are saying “we should ban ice fishing in huts on that river”. Really? These dudes know what they’re getting into. Ask any other fisherman and they’ll tell you where to go.  On that note, in Britain, they have this law where a kid seat is needed until 12 … Reason? It “could” strangle the kid if they get in an accident. Here? You have kids with no helmets sitting on their moms lap on a moped next to a bus. Many countries need to relax a bit, I believe.

If you’re taught that everything is dangerous and everything is bad, won’t you be scared of everything? Then again, won’t you also be a complacent worker who will probably live a really boring life? Hmmm, never thought of that did ya? Neither did I, actually.

Tips hat,

P.S I love all the alleys here, so much life off the main roads, it’s awesome. So far, I’m loving Vietnam.

P.P.S: These are the decent photos, 50% of the photos that involved movement were so blurry, I don’t care about much but it was so bad that it even bothered me.