Egh, did I really run into bed bug bites in Bangkok on my 4th night!?

Yeah, I got a room and the dirty sheets had, bed bugs. I was checking out of a decent room trying to get to another place, similar but cheaper. Upon leaving I took the door knob with me, as a result I couldn’t leave as my stuff was trapped in the room.

Little did I know that soon, I would be wishing I never had to google stuff like ;”bed bugs, bed bugs spray, bug identifier etc…” and a few days on the road run into my first bed bug problem. Turns out Bangkok isn’t the worst place for bed bugs. Lot’s supposedly in New York, Brooklyn, Manhattan and all over NY and NJ, shocking really.

I came back later, they had switched rooms. At first, I thought “this is awesome, exactly what I want and the price is right”. I was insanely tired and run down, so much so that I needed to rest / nap during the day… SO GLAD I did. I was lying there and then I got under the sheets.

After a few minutes I started feeling like I had things crawling on me, biting me. I said to myself “you’re tripping out, chill out, man”. It continued, I got out of the sheets. I then noticed my pillow had just dirty dirty browny orange marks on it. I went downstairs to the 1 open room I could find, I switched the pillows, back to the bed bug nest.

Another few minutes go by and I thought *I should do some due dillgence”. I went to lift sheets but first, I found a left over finger or toe nail, this thing was gnarly, like almost half an inch long, and so so so dirty, 3 or 4 different shades of brown and black, I wanted to puke.

At this point, I began fearing the worst, I immediately began ripping the bedding apart and my worst nightmares were confirmed, black dots, all over, aka the crap from those dirty little BUGgers. I didn’t want to believe it but the evidence was overwhelming. It’s not like they call in exterminators after each guest, right? I had to face the fact, this room most likely has bed bugs and no, I most certainly did not have a bed bug spray, nothing… Just a problem.

At this point, I stormed down to the front saying, “We have a problem”. They come in, lady says “I clean sheets for you, they good”. I thought, “Yeah sure lady, I’m dumb enough to take this room, but I’m not an idiot, I found a finger nail, did it just “grow there”? I had to be firm, they were trying to say “we clean sheets for you”.

I made it incredibly clear, that was NOT cool. So I told them. “I am showering, getting my stuff, leaving to another room”. Remember, I’m hurting aka the day rest. I have an infection in both eyes, a chest infection and now bed bugs, FAN $#)@ing tastic.

At this point, you don’t let them make suggestions, you TELL THEM while acting out in charades “how it’s going to go”.

Luckily my stuff never touched the bed, I jumped in the shower, I turned it so hot I was burning myself. I used an entire bar of soap lathering over and over and over and over. You know when people joke about someone who slept with someone dirty and they go in the shower to wash themselves clean compulsively… That’s what I did. I have never felt so dirty.

After the shower, I look for a towel, oh yeah it’s on the bed, so I dry myself with an old dirty t-shirt. I pack my stuff up, ANYTHING that touched the bed is now “contaminated” so I left it. My luggage is becoming increasingly light. I’m indifferent and only brought a 59L bag to begin with.

After packing up, I go down stairs and tell her I’m now switching to a double, for no charge, she tries to charge me. She says “we have no double” only single with no window. You know how I feel about no window, this is my life. I would rather sleep on the streets, with the rats then have no window. I digress.

When she says no room, I demand my $$$ back, then suddenly out of NO WHERE a room appears. I go up to it… Just my luck, remember how I “switched the pillow?” Well the only room left is the one I switched, ha. I storm down and get a refund.

Now I’m on the streets, all my luggage, sweating like the pork you bought from a street vendor exactly 40 minutes before your stomach turned into liquid glicerine and then “BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE”. I’ve never sweat so much. Part of the reason I was sweating so much is because on top of 30 degree+ humidity, I got out of a shower SOOOO HOT that my body temperature was already through the roof. Just imagine taking the hottest shower of your life, or getting out of a hot tub, then hustling through intense heat and humidity with all your luggage.

I go to a travel place to get a bus out of here, North, I was done with Bangkok. Actually I thought of leaving earlier when I met a really nice English lady going north. Coulda, shoulda, woulda.

I walk to where I think a buddy is staying, luggage and all, stepping over dirty and feces on the ground, sweating so profusely I was literally soaked like someone pushed me into a pool.

Turns out my friend is not there, “great”. So I walk back another route, through a back alley where a gang of rabid dogs got all “crazy” with me. If they weren’t tied up, I don’t know what would of happened. Oh ya, bed bugs.

Long story short, I get a new room and as I’m walking up the stairs, sure enough buddy is there. It’s uncanny, same guy I ran into in MBX. I mean meeting like this in these places is like throwing a dart, blind folded, over your shoulder, off an over pass and hitting a bullseye on top of a moving car. It’s not probable. In fact, those that are pessimists would probably say “impossible” but we all know impossible is a misnomer.

So, I’m in a new room, I again took a crazy long “cleansing shower” and bought some tiger balm. I think I killed most but I definitely got bit, more than I’d like to admit. I applied ample amounts of tiger balm to anywhere and everywhere that itched, some places, it burns, oh it burns!!

Here I am, next day, chatting with you. I could be all mad, or look at this as a positive, imagine I had NOT done my 2-3 hour rest on the bed (mainly on top) but instead come home late at night and slept there the entire evening? Imagine I unpacked all my stuff onto the bed, imagine …

Also, I’m now a paranoid freak, even more so than before. Before I go into a room, I inspect it like it was a bio-hazard area. I will write an update on the neurotics guest house / hotel cleanliness checklist.

Now, it is the waiting game, like someone who stepped on a dirty syringe in the lower downtown east side Vancouver, you’ve been somewhere very dirty. Will it stick?, Am I infected with these things? I’ll know over the next two days. Until than, it’s shower time.

Staying in Bangkok until my health is back to 85%. Currently ~60%.

The sun can’t always shine, but it will come back in full force if you give it time.

P.S: Picture above is not the place that had bed bugs, it’s my new room.