City Walking Tour, Madrid, Spain

Sup Peeps, Plebs and Playas!?

Today has been an interesting day in Madrid, Spain. Woke up early enough and went on a city walking tour. The girls in my dorm were like why are you so fast what’s the rush, I was like “there is no rush, it’s called vitality”. I get downstairs and boom they are going. Had I not been such a speedy gent, I’d of missed it, so glad I didn’t. Hey, if this isn’t a vanilla title, what is?

So let’s rewind, shall we? Last night at 1:30 I was going to find food, nothing, not even McDonald’s. The street I’m on is the core of downtown and the prostitute place. The pros here are aggressive like grabbing your jacket or chasing you. Then again if you serviced old creepy diseased derelicts and some youngish dude comes strolling through, well you know what I’m saying. At one point I had to pull a Tasmanian devil to shake one off. I’ not scared of being brought somewhere, scared of having my wallet nicked. That’s the game they play in Vietnam and sure here, I mean, they are pros, yes?

I had a pint and  a cheeseburger at the hostel with the dude from the front desk. Went up stairs and it turns out … I HIT THE HOSTEL ROULETTE JACKPOT. There was the Argentinian girl, some lady from Holland and at 8am, 2 Finnish ladies showed up. Now we’re 5 people and it beats the snot out of sharing it with Dr. Giggles. FYI the “Super Jackpot” is if they are all bikini models who want a 3rd party opinion on their suits. If you ever do something like this and you get a bad vibe, just ask for a room switch. Last time I pulled the “room switch” I ended up with those 3 New York ladies. So yeah, if you’re not satisfied, do what you can to change it. This should be “elementary dear Watson” or something of that nature.

So the city walk was cool. About 15 people from my hostel went and we hit up another hostel and got about 15 more. The lady showed us lots of stuff including but not limited to… Oldest Restaurant in the world where the royal family often eats, you’re lucky to get out for under 100E, drinks excluded of course. The oldest book store in the world or Spain, not sure but it’s over 300 years old and had some cool books. This nunnery where the nuns never see ANYONE their whole life, only allowed to talk when selling cookies. We went in and they have this revolving door so you still never see them, the money goes in, the cookies come out. I’d say they were delicious but seriously they were just “ok”. Maybe if those ladies got to interact with others they could work on their recipes instead of just chilling at home all the time?

Also saw the Royal palace, main city square, lots of other things and lots of photos to come. Oh yeah, also saw the old city walls and the only place in Spain where you can bring your dog for tapas, they even have tapas for the dogs. I know a lot of you are thinking “Little Charlie” would love that. Also checked out this Cathedral that took 110 years to build. It took so long because of money and that “Religion isn’t really all that relevant anymore”. Oh yeah, across from the Royal Palace they have statues of all the old kings. Turns out Royal family doesn’t live in the Palace anymore because the kitchen was so far from the sitting room that the coffee was cold when it got to the King so he moved, ha.

Heard this story of the “Spanish Robin Hood” who would seduce the noble wives then rob them blind and give to the poor, what guy! Also before the French took over or whatever they had no sewage so they’d yell something and throw their “goods” out the window so everyone had these massive hats and long trench coats but after some time they were forced to stop wearing them as it as too easy for criminals to hide their faces and their weapons. The Spanish Bank is one of the most expensive buildings in the world. Sourced the materials in Spain of the finest marble, built in Italy and transported in chunks back. Supposedly some robbers who stole from Royalty hid all the gold in a river underneath or so goes the legend.

This connection is sketchy so I hope you appreciate the multitude of photos. It takes forever to upload them but whatever it’s not like I have much else to do anyways, yes? Took many good ones today, I really enjoyed the tour.

After the tour some people went for tapas. I was hanging out with this Brazilian lady about my age that I started talking too on the tour. Turns out it was just us and the tour guide so we went our own way. We walked for about 5 hours before having tapas at that place I went to yesterday. It felt like my “Local Tapas Joint”. Doesn’t matter how long you are somewhere, it’s very easy to find your new “chill spots”.  Yeah it’s a big city but when I find people who treat me right, I go back. It’s like if you’re at a good party and your friend says “man this other party is great”, I’d say “ok, have fun”. Get what I’m saying? They remembered me, were super friendly and it was delicious.

Afterward we went for another walk and it was pouring, we were looking for somewhere to have a pint and hiding under this building to avoid the rain. Out of NOWHERE this guy comes and says come with me, turns out we were in front of an Irish Pub and the owner, this long haired Irish dude was the goods. He let us in to watch World Cup while he was setting up and it beat the h3ck out of the rain, yes?

Now I’m here blogging with you, earlier this time, of course. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’re an idiot. Yeah that makes me a bit of an idiot but we’re all slightly idiotic and if you won’t admit that then you’re well yeah. Many people told me Madrid was just some random place mainly for commerce. I’m really into taking pictures of stunning architecture if you haven’t noticed so this place is a dream.

Back to the tour, they also showed us this place which was one of the wealthiest gents place in the entire city, back in the day. It was so lame from the outside but supposedly on the inside the finest materials from around the globe. Then, like now, it was not wise to flaunt wealth so he dressed like some rando but once inside his “stone home” it was basically a palace. I like that guy and one day as I may or may not have mentioned would like to buy some old decrepit building and totally redo the inside while leaving the outside well beaten down. People who judge others on appearances and nothing else deserve to be misled, indeud.

Anyways, time to start the arduous process of updating the photos as I’m sure I’ve said all I have to say AND MORE!

Tips Hat,

P.S: I think it was Toledo? That used to be the capital but the King loved hunting so much near Madrid he moved the capital there and all his servants, nobles etc… As a result it was a law that the 2nd floor of any building was to be given to nobles so people built what looked like 1 storey buildings with 2, the main level would be deeper and whatnot so it looked like 1 floor and or the second floor had NO windows. Also there are bars that go underneath the town square, supposedly they are uber expensive. It was like air conditioning in the dark ages style.

P.P.S: Everyone is always checking the weather. I AM PROUD to tell you, I have NEVER checked the weather once on this trip. First off it’s usually wrong and secondly, who cares? That’s for old people planning cottage trips and whatnot.

Search DU JOUR!?!: “I want adventure life is boring”

P.P.P.S: Ever thought about your time on earth? The world is millions of years old. If you live 60-100 years on this planet it’s still just the equivalence of “ONE NIGHT” in the history of the world, might as well make it a good one, yes?