Wild Weekend in Krakow, Poland

healthy dinner table

Greetings and good day,

This was simply a wild weekend in Krakow, Poland. I believe less is often more and as a result, I will leave it at that except to add it was extremely gluttonous and excessive, it was anything but boring. Hey, ever been to Slovenia? Neither have I but I think I’m going to go there. I gotta go to Prague first, for some reason I’m not overly thrilled about Prague or any German city. Slovenia however, that is another matter.

fine dining in krakow

sleeping on streets

Note: That guy is NOT me, I don’t wear sandals and I’m not 50 or homeless, just clarifying…

It was nice to see my friend again, I’m sure I’ll see her again, somewhere. Typically if you meet someone on the other side of the world, then meet them again in another country, you will probably see each other again, yes?

military parade krakow

cherry vodka shots

I will talk about accommodations… I dropped the ball and by that I mean I forgot to book us anything until she got here, WHOOPS. I’m not a details guy, give moi a break, ok? Anyways…

private bar

liquor cabinet

We roll in at 3:30 or something and they say only 2 spots left in some 10 person dorm, I’m  ike whatever we’ll take it. We get there and it appeared as though all the spots were taken, there is another door… Walk through it … WOAH!? My dream apartment? This massive hardwood floored room, a sick ceiling with chandeliers, a “Big L” white sofa with a table that is perfect to put a drink, your feet or act as a podium to your own private party. It has a good sized dining room table and 2 windows over well nothing except …

Krakow Apartment Poland

living in Krakow

It was above this cool hip hop club that played some of the best hip hop I’ve heard in years, it has rekindled my love affair with hip hop, can I say that? Whatever, I just did.

kids playing foutain Poland

fancy restaurant in Krakow

I ran into these snobby French people. Now, I love French people and call a spade a spade. They were snobs. So anyways I speak french and ask if they are French and she says “Definitely not Quebecer” to which I quipped “You most CERTAINLY are not.”. Moments later she finds out I have been here for 1 week and didn’t know there was a certain section in this town and was shocked…

fishing krakow poland

castle in Krakow Poland

Why would you be shocked? There are many types of travelers, those who walk around with maps, meet no one and get lame / insanely dorky photos of themselves in front of landmarks that have no meaning to them. Anyways she was with her mother, acting snobby and staying in a crappy youth hostel, how posh! I said I have better things to do then hang out near someone googling city maps on a Saturday and left. This brins me to my point.

Krakow Poland Castle

I’ve realized what this trip is about, it’s to meet as many cool people in this world as possible. To go on missions and despite being a foreigner, experience some “what it’s like to live here moments”. Also when I finish traveling, I’ll have what I consider good friends from every country in the world. That beats a trip to the Salt mines or a concentration camp.

Pies Dzok

I do not understand why people go visit Concentration Camps, why would you want to be somewhere that evil? It’s a massive $#$#up in history and frankly, I don’t go to “buzz kill places”. I see people coming to the hostel, booking their trip there, eating crappy spaghetti with no meat for dinner (pikers) and then going to some lame city tour and leaving. This brings me to my next point and I will go ON about this later…

Art of Inspiration

Most of you travel lot are really lame and your weak vibe often hinders my buzz. You come across the world and you stay in the cheapest place, cook all your own food and just go see lame tourist attractions, why don’t you stay home, eat your spag and just go on wikipedia. You people PUMP NOTHING into the economies of the countries kind enough to accept visitors who often rely on tourism. Countries that don’t need your tourism $$$ are like China and you’ll know that when you are there.

Children Playing Summer

I urge you, if you’re out and about to go enjoy a beer in the city center or some pub  for 2E instead of drinking one with some random people in this tiny hostel common room for 1.25E. You’re traveling, wow, get a life people. If you meet no locals, enjoy no night life, try NO cuisine, you haven’t been there people, sorry but it’s true. Now, if you’re a long term backpacker, I hear ya but if you’re on vacation … NO EXCUSES!

Bacardi 151 Fireball shot

Anyways the reality is this was an absolutely off the walls weekend, it’s rare I meet a lady who is as crazy as I am or maybe even crazier, I dare say. It was fun, I’m done with Krakow to be frank, thing is this… If I didn’t have that Eurail pass I’d love to just well hang out somewhere and work on some mini sites, I registered one today. I haz ideas, I need some grafters to do my bidding.

Random Park

On the topic of the Eurail pass, it feels like I’m married as I have invested so much into this pass and well “committed to it”. I don’t like it, I have lost some freedom to “do what I want to do”. I wonder what it is like for people who are married on that day they look at their spouse and are like “I don’t even like you anymore….”

traditional polish food

The apartment we had was sick, I’ve realized what I want in life and remember, had I booked in advanced I’d of been guaranteed accomodations but would have slept with 10 sweaty people on a tiny bed when in reality I booked last, rolled the dice, paid the same price and had a massive pad for myself and my friend with a private DJ. Booking in advance is like a GIC that pays 2% or less on your money… You’re guaranteed something, something boring.

Polish Food Town Square

Just ran into one of my favorite bartenders. Just like how in Lagos, “The Jam” was my favorite place, my stomping grounds if you will. here in Krakow, it’s “The Cosmopolitan Club”. Amazing bartenders, nice venue, great vibe and conveniently under my “apartment”, if I can call it that!? hahah

sex on the beach orgy

Oh yeah, on Friday some dude lit a fire in town square, not a good idea because those Polish cops which are bigger than any guy you’ve ever seen in a gym in North America took this dude down with authority, it was quite the spectacle, I was there but my camera just sucks (insert something really gross here, will ya?).

crazy shot

On the topic of that, when you’re with a lady or a gent (for you ladies), unless you’re stinking up the place (which I realize most do) going into an empty club can be awesome, your own private bar fully stacked with bartender, own dance floor. It’s like being a trillionaire who has a club running 24/7 so that if they want a drink they can go, ever thought of that? However, if your date is boring you will have a boring time, if not well you’re laughing.

Feeding Pigeons

Flick of the cap,

P.S: If you finish a meal and don’t want it, get it to go and give it to a homeless guy, make his day.


  1. Nathan

    July 19, 2010 at 7:18 am

    I can’t help noticing that none of the photos show your lady friend’s face. Just thought I would comment on that. 😉

    It looks like you are having a lot of fun!


    July 19, 2010 at 9:46 am


  3. Rob

    July 19, 2010 at 10:50 am

    That is because she is actully a he, a ladyboy I met in Bangkok living in Poland OR because we here at SHABL never show friends faces, let alone a lady friends. This crappy blog is not the “end game” as of now, good sirs.

    Flick of the cap,

  4. Nathan

    July 19, 2010 at 11:10 am

    @ Rob:

    Okay, okay….. so no pictures of your undoubtably good looking friend. 😉

    When I saw that first post about the wedding, I thought YOU were the one getting married. 🙂 I’ll just have to wait and see what happens….

  5. jeremy

    July 20, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    great post. thanks rob!

  6. Quirky Jessi

    July 20, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Lol, love the picture of you two on the steps!

  7. Rob

    July 21, 2010 at 3:53 am

    Nathan – Lots of gas left in this tank before that ;).

    J – Tip of the hat, good sir.

    Jessi – hahah it’s not me but I do love that photo.

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