Last night was ridonkulous (sic). Whenever I hit up a new town, village, city or island, I always go out, full. Even if I say “I’m going to bed”, it never happens. I’m simply “not that kinda guy”. Also, first night out, you meet all the other  fun people and then your days become filled with new friends, acquaintances and even occasionally, the odd enemey. (just kidding).

Before going to “Reggae Bar” to watch some Muay Thai fights, we saw a street fight. We were alternating between sipping slowly and blasting through buckets in record time while smoking our chosen brand of smokes. In an instant we see this Lady Boy aka Shemale aka Tranny tweaking out on people in an internet cafe. We remarked that he / she looked disturbed and then resorted back to our regular routine.

Moments later this English bloke begins yelling at the tranny, moments later they are fighting. Punching each other in the face, spitting in each others faces, throwing each other to the ground and throwing chairs and stools through this once quiet internet cafe.

At this point, I began filming (well I began filming earlier) but my friends started filming. I’ve become increasingly brazen with my camera but I urged them “dudes, put that shiz down, do not get caught filming this”. About 3 min into the fight the english guy with a mouth full of blood and tranny spit sees my friend filming… “Uh oh” he runs over and kicks my friend in the chest, hard. After that the tranny comes over and begins slapping my friend in the face with her soiled flip flops. Madness ensues.

Shortly after this, a guy that is much smaller but even more mental than the lady boy fighting english bloke released some “fists of fury” into the guys face. The English guy falls back on to a bunch of signs and well after that, who cares. It was pretty nuts, I had a front row seat and I have it on film. I quit filming when my friend got a “boot stomp to the chest”. I digress…

After that we went to the Reggae bar and watched foreigners beat each other into submission, following that these 2 crazy thai guys went at it. Not sure if it’s “fixed or not” but they were truly “going at it” with great vigor and zeal, as I like to say.

When one of the westerners was done, earlier, I was standing next to him filming another fight when he puked all over my leg, the guy was a heavy weight and I made like I didn’t feel it. Truth be told, it was pretty gross having some oversized rugby props puke dripping down the side of my leg.

The night ended with an all too regular “beach party” aka “beach rave”. At about 4:18 I retired for the evening with a smile on my face. Good times.

On another note, I am thinking of doing my “Diving Pro” course. I met these dudes and we got along, the guy runs a dive shop, it’s 60,000 baht to get certified with minimum # of dives to be a dive master. He said if I wanted to help out in the shop a day or so a week, he’d let me dive with the groups that pay so effectively, I’d have ~100 dives in 3 months and really “know what I’m doing”. I’d also live in the dive community at discounted rates and just become a “Koh Phi Phi local”, worse things in life, yes?

I’m undecided but could be cool. If you’re a dive master and like somewhere, you can just show up, chill out, dive, meet ladies from Nordic countries and the like, not a bad gig, especially when you don’t have to work, you just do it for fun.

On that note, those of you that wish to do something like this, learn a “PORTABLE OCCUPATION”, something you can do anywhere, anytime. Some occupations include but are not limited to: chef, cook, waiter, bartender, dive master and countless others that currently elude me. If you’re interested, do your own homework.

I have lots more to talk about but I’ll save them for another day, if I ever remember them again.

I just wasted an hour uploading a 2 minute video of one of the fights, an error occurred and I’m off to the beach. This place is truly beautiful and I’m not just talking about the scenery.

P.S I am soooo sick of “Tonight is going to be a good night” song and if I hear “Shorty Burning on the Dance floor” one more time, I may very well burn the dance floor down, and the entire club pumping that horrible tune. Ok, not really but I really hate that song.

Eat here last night, cheaper than Wendy’s, awesome sea food.