Becoming a Lazy Slob in Bangkok

bangkok bts sky train


I haven’t become a lazy slob but considering there is an obesity epidemic going on, I figure it will be a good title for search engine traffic, I also presume that many people who are lazy slobs probably live incredibly boring lives, so it’s a good match.

I sit here in a bed in a hotel that has mirrors on the walls, I really like mirrors on the walls. When I grow up aka settle down and become boring, I’m going to have a place with mirrors on the walls, seriously.

mirror bed in bangkok aka porn star bed

I’m getting sick of recounting my daily hi jinx but not so sick of it that I’ll stop. I’d still rather do that then start writing these bullsh!t inspirational bloggeries or photos of myself in all these locations neither of us care about. For the record, I never get my photo taken in front of landmarks, I find it cheesy and not like the delicious cheese you eat in a burger. Just throwing it out there, I’d rather drink a soggy steak sandwich with salmonella seasoned sewer soup for gravy than start doing that. If I ever do that, please COD me one of those such said sandwiches, asap.

bangkok taxi driver checkers

Last night I met up with this gent for 1 drink, 1 harmless drink. After about 5 I was thinking to myself, ok once we leave here I’ll go home, only reason I’m not in Cambodia is I needed a “day of rest”, sadly, obviously that never occurred. I was so tired at about 1pm that while shopping for a new battery for my POS HP laptop, I was tempted to ask one of the kiosk clerks if I could sleep under the desk, even considered taking a nap near the sky train.

Next thing you know we’re jumping in and out of taxis from district to district, it was a booze fueled 2 man pub crawl. Ever been on a pub crawl? Ever been on a pub crawl with one person you met hours before? Show up, do all there is to do and down a drink and into the next equally sordid pub for much of the same? At about midnight another friend showed up and said “let’s do Khao San”, I said “sure” and before I blinked other friend had bounced, ha. I can’t say I blamed him.

While walking around Khao San (FOR THE LAST TIME) I ran into a friend from Kuala Lumpur and hung out. What’s weird is having traveled for ~5 months now, I meet people I know everywhere I go. Also when you travel, your friendships grow on hyper speed compared to say boring banter in the coffee line before work filled with people secretly engaged in self depreciating self commentary like “I hate my life, maybe I should just quit my job, I hate my wife, wonder if anyone would care if I died, I hate my car payment, I hate my boss”. If you travel with someone and you see the again it’s like “WHAT’S UP”, if you run into that guy who buys an XL triple triple everyday in front of you with an un buttered multi-grain bagel it’s like “hello Paul, meet my wife Bernadette”.

street omelet bangkok thailand

On a side note, I am a lazy slob, I haven’t even added a gawd damn photo to this blog in a few days, maybe a week? Not since I went meditating with those monks. Ladies and gents, I think I should have stayed longer, oh the regret, oh the humanity! I’d be leaving that little room right now with a clear vision of who I am, who I was in past lives (not sure if I buy into that, yet), where I’m going and WHAT I need to do! That’s door 1, door 2 would be them taking me out in a straight jacket on a stretcher while crying some incoherently inane crap. Like much of life, the fantasy is dope compared to the reality. It got so boring in that room so fast, props to monks who go for years doing it.

This is enough for today, I’m off to go stroll the streets and have brief but brilliant moments like the ones shared on the holy pages of this here blog. All I know is this, it involves h20, electrolytes, an omelet, a coke and a pancake. The rest is a mystery, the way I like it.

Now drop and give me 10!!!!!!

P.S Don’t fear the reaper, we’re all going to die, embrace it, coward.

Author: SHABL

Rob has been traveling the world and living abroad for over a decade. The goal was to stop having a boring life and it turned into something far greater. He's worked with national tourism boards and been mentioned in National Geographic. These days he lives abroad and loves business, technology, the tropical lifestyle, good food and travel.

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