A Suckers Born Every Minute, Is it You?

So yeah, I’ve done nothing really so you’d think I have nothing to say? Wrong you are.

Let me tell you how things changed after I last updated. Remember that guy from Gaza drinking ridiculous quantities of Vodka? Well, I ran into him this morning…

He said his head hurt, and he felt really weird. He went to this place “Beach Club” or something like that in Kuala Lumpur, notorious for smoking local women “playing foreigners”. He told me he met this gang of women, they invited him to their home…

He said one of them must of put something in his drink because he woke up the next day, on the street, with his entire wallet emptied out except his cards.

At first the whole lot of us decided he was just too wasted, the guy was sloppy when he left, but wouldn’t you be? 3 beers I saw and 2/3-3/4 of a 26 of Vodka, Vaspuru or Vaspura or something like that if I reacall.

After he left, I was discussing this with the other Canadian, asked if he saw the guy today, so I filled him in, we agreed he was just “too drunk”.

This is when the “Doorman” steps in and fills us in on some of the “schemes” the local people play on often unlucky and often inebriated travelers. The most common mark according to the doorman are young European guys in their early 20’s, the GQ style or creepy old guys who should know better.

One game is “Cards”, they invite you to play blackjack when you’re drunk, they are all in on it somehow but you always leave no money, others involve something that I described above. Supposedly the women at this particular club are out of this world, the doorman said many men want to go there, he warns them but after they go inside… It’s their business. He told us a story of how a guy came in the next morning, almost in tears, somehow he lost 7000R in one of these card games.

How can someone lose 7000R and stay at a ~35R a night hotel? That simply blows my mind. Then again, I’ve had nights where I’m glad I didn’t get invited back…

That said, simple rules of common sense need to be mentioned, if you’re off your rocker, all sloppy and 5 beautiful women want to play cards with you, they don’t want to play cards with you, they want your money. Further more the good old “red ribbon deal”, if you just have to take the red ribbon off the gift and all your problems are solved, you’re being played.

I kinda got played last night. So this lady the one I mentioned who was with us, from here? Yeah well…

Gaza guy is hitting on her, she grabs my arm and says let’s get out of here, I said “I’m hungry, sure”. So we leave. At this point I find a place to eat (so glad I went to a cheap place). I’m like this place sounds good, you going to eat? She says “sure”.

So I get there, order a meal, she orders hers and a drink. We have the most boring conversation in the world and I’m just kinda looking at the ceiling like “why did I ever agree to leave with this lady!?”

About half way through the meal I start thinking … “Hey, I don’t see a purse on this lady, I don’t even see pockets in “dem jeans””.

So yeah, I end up buying this lady dinner, then as I’m leaving I see the owner / manager of the place and whisper in his ear “If you go to dinner with a girl, make sure she has a purse!”. Guy quips back “Watch it with her, she’s engaged to be married”. At this point I’m like, this is weird, oh and she told me she was a cutter as well. Creepy.

So she’s like “what do you want to do”, being the gentleman that I am I didn’t say “ditch you” so instead I said, let’s go back upstairs, I begin walking the stairs, she waits for elevator. As soon as that elevator came and she went in it, I came back downstairs and back onto the streets effectively “free” again.

So yeah, I got played too. It happens, it’s easy, gotta watch yourself as women (and men) can be scandalous.

This got me thinking about what the Brits said… They were remarking how ludicrous it is people are constantly getting their nails done, massages etc… While on the beach! That is your typical 2 week traveler style.

The gentleman said, isn’t not working, eating when you want, sleeping when you want, doing whatever you want and just “relaxing on a beach” enough!?

Made me think…

Good day,

P.S Made a video about this place today, but can’t even upload it due to this connection being sketchier then letting Andy Dick watch your kids.


  1. Cowboy

    November 26, 2009 at 7:43 am

    so you’re not getting your nails done on the beach? wtf?

  2. Rob

    November 26, 2009 at 9:27 am

    No but I’m a sucker for a massage, here they want like $30US for a massage, pfft. I’m starting to realize countries are like … Hard to explain, countries are like clubs, if you want different music, you go to a different club type of thing. We both know what kinda club Canad is, at least for us.

  3. Fran

    November 26, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    Hey Rob … Just and FYI … for a very long time Rohypnol (“date rape drug”) has been the drug of choice by the schemers in bars in Southeast Asia. I remember when I moved to the Philippines my Secuirty consultant “lectured” me on the way it works. Whether male or female (usually male though) a girl cozy’s up to you — lap dance, whatver. And when you look away she slips you a rufi. You wake up in a ditch or on the curb without your wallet and if you’re not wise enough to keep your passport locked up safely, that’s gone as well.

    It’s big business and many new expats get sucked in. Sounds like Gaza guy was drunk, yes, but it’s likely he had a little “something extra” to help put him in a semiconscious state long enough to relieve him of his wallet and keep him knocked out for a little while after.

    Ugh Gotta watch your drink.

  4. Rob

    November 27, 2009 at 5:13 am

    Hi Fran,

    Thanks for that. The Gaza guy was convinced he was slipped something because he said he “felt different then anytime ever before”. I’m in Singapore now, hopefully none of that here, that said, drink beer and keep an eye on it.

    Thanks for the insights.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read previous post:
Lounging All Day in Kuala Lumpur

Greetings, Woke up, switched hotels. Got to new one, internet connection via FTP was working ok, cool. Moments later, no...