Good day,

This is the dirtiest / skidliest hostel I ever stayed at in Asia. It was in Vientiane, Laos. Not really setup for backpackers, hotels were $50US each and I found this “gem”. It felt like I was in the movie fight club aka squatting in an old abandon building.

Funny how you then get to Europe and if you don’t look for a hostel you just may end up at some hotel which is also skidly for 60E, ha. For some reason though spending $50us a night on a hotel room in Laos was just well, mind blowing. If you just arrived maybe but if you’ve been in SE Asia for a while, you’ll know where I’m coming from.

Turns out, ran into some awesome people and had a great time. Oddly enough, it also had WIFI, go figure? The staff was relatively nice and it was in a dumpy part of town. Vientiane is not so much a tourist town but it is definitely developing.

Tips hat,

P.S: Don’t forget that 1st Class Eurail Pass if you’re going to Europe, it’s free.

Search du jour?!: “fishing in laos” – Search.

Going to Thailand, either Bangkok or Udon Thani or Tani or something of that nature. The hospitals are mad basic here and the clinic for Aussies is also basic. Supposedly if you get mangled over here and need medical treatment, AEK International in Udon is the “place to be”.

I do want to go to Bangkok for several reasons but I fear what will happen if I do, I’ve been there 3 weeks, I’ll get stuck again, attacked by a gang of rabid dogs set to destroy my trip or just get lost in a sea of dreadlocks and dreadful tattoos.

Who knows but right now, I’m checking out of the “King Suite” in the “Hotel of Squalor” in Vientiane and bouncing, in true SHABL form. I’m going to walk to a bus station and find out what is going where, when etc…

Tips hat,

P.S I Have like 75,000K left on me, I do NOT want to hit a bank machine and changing KIP into Baht in Thailand is almost laughable.

P.P.S I will miss Laos, coming to Asia? Add Laos to your list, you’ll like it here.

I write this to you sweating on a pink flowered bed of nails on a hot iron frame. Dirty spider webs in the corners of the cracked and paint chipping walls. Windows so dirty they could be used as retro bathroom windows with mildew growing from all corners. Doors that don’t lock and floors that have never been washed with lingering smells that could never be described. I’m living a dive of a hostel which feels more like squatting than anything else. On the topic of squatting, world’s worst squat toilet.

This place feels like Fight Club, if you’ve ever seen the movie you’ll remember the home they squat in, this place is like straight from that street only some people “tidied” it up slightly, just enough to be able to sell it to weary and forgone foreign travelers nonchalant about hygiene. I found this place yesterday, random and thought to myself “what a dump”.

I scanned for bedbugs and couldn’t find any but thought there has to be some here. For some reason I didn’t leave, instead I surrendered and thought to myself “let’s see what it’s like to live in total and complete squalor” just for the fun it. Just to expand my comfort zone and experience what life is like for some people, less fortunate of course. Unless this is your thing,  I’ve heard of hippies with bank accounts bigger than their bags who squat in dumps simply because they don’t notice the filth and they like the price. Think dreadful tattoos and dread locks that smell like dumpsters. Oddly enough, simplification is a key component of wealth accumulation. It’s treu(sic)

I digress.

Traveling is getting #%$ING BORING and I need to do something, anything to feel a sense of adventure again. When I did the ropes tubing, I back flipped them both times because I could and everyone else just held on like they were on maddeningly predictable merry-go-rounds as methodically mundane as a less than majestic marriage ceremony for a couple who simply isn’t going to make it and provides a lackluster menu.

I digress, yet again.

This place is 3 floors of filth and fecal matter. I say that because the toilets are like normal toilets but with no seats. If you’re going to make your “less than distinguished guests” hover over something, give them some leverage man!? It’s arguably the worst of all worlds. Also, no toilet paper so just a barrel of disease water. Also, the floor is always wet, but is it water or is it?! I’ll have you know I’ve been going to this “Treu Coffee” place, it’s fruity in a why would people pay what I’m paying for rent for a stale baguette but whatever. Besides buying a crap coffee this morning, I’ve just been walking in and going straight the bathroom while avoiding eye contact with the workers, then being all smiles and salutations on the way out. They don’t seem to care.

First 20 minutes here, I adventure into the dorm, never been in a dorm really and most certainly have never slept in one.  I tip my hat (only slightly, so indistinguishable it may of even just looked like a simple nod of acknowledgment) and said good day to you. The group replied “most magnificent, thank you for asking kind sir” while this guy who is half Spanish / French replied “muy magnific mon amigo”. I quipped in my best Canadian accent “This place is a dump, eh?” to which they replied of course and the lady started showing me some bed bugs. This kinda freaked this gent. I inquired and no one else got them and it was in a different dorm but in the same building. Anyways this should have been a warning bell but I decided to stay.

I had a single room which is same price as a double. The single is 1/3 the size, no windows and just kinda like, picture a shed your dad built when you were growing up somewhere, the guys here refer to it as “the hole”. It had no frame, just a really thin piece of foam on the floor and a fan, on the floor next to you. No windows except a big hole with a screen near the ceiling near the hall with a bright light that steals dreams.

There is no division between buildings here, they all just end with the roof higher so in theory you could climb (after getting a tetanus shot) up part of the walls and over into the neighboring buildings and them into yours. The stair case is so steep it should have warning signs and a safety net. I assure you the path the stairs take were NOT in the original blue print. When standing on the top or bottom floor and looking up it’s something else. It kinda reminds me off a really big tree fort you’d build as a kid, no real rhythm or reason just build and that be the path type of thing. Furthermore, the power in our room for the fans and lights isintermitent, electricity is a privledge, when is the last time you thought of that?

It’s weird but after spending the majority of the day just going in and out of consciousness on this uncomfortable bed in what could best be described a “Sh!t hole”, I don’t really mind it here.  Right now I’m writing this while checking some stocks and they are playing a game of chess. Later I’ll go eat dinner somewhere for a buck and probably have a drink. If you’re sleeping in squalor like a bum, a slight buzz is a must I believe?

Conclusions? I have none, I’m just sweating in a crappy place for a day or two and get this, it has access to a free unsecure wifi connection from somewhere. Tonight I’m paying 25,000k a night to stay in this spacious triple slum with 2 guys I met from New York last night. Actually, my conclusion is that an  internet connection is more important to my happiness than any creature comforts and if you’ve never slept in squalor, try it sometime, it’s kinda fun.

Tips hat,

<Downs expresso with a great vigor and zeal and slams the tiny cup on a hand crafted hardwood coffee table.> I woke up yesterday after what was a total bender of a tubing experience and decided to bounce. I sweat buckets (literally) on a bus for 6 hours and at one point hit a bump, my knee dug into this nail on the seat in front. Get this, it hit right bullseye on my old staph infection, wtf!?

Took the local bus from Vang Vieng to Vientiane for a mere 30,000 kip, it took a while and was really hot but whatever. I’m over VIP buses, minibuses etc. You meet lame people. Met some guys who have worked in Vang Vieng for 1-2 years, they look tired but happy with themselves.

I’m in Vientiane, the capital of Laos drinking coffee and chilling. This place is cool. Had dinner on the Mekong last night and watched a sunset. Had a great meal, met a girl from France and she joined me with this photo journalist. In front of us was an awkward German and a lady boy who was a wrestler in a previous life, to my left? Some dude who graduated from the same SMALL University in rural Quebec as myself hahaha. It’s a small world, he graduated in 1973, myself? Class of 2003.

Getting injections in Vientiane is no problemo… They got mad luxury rides here and business men banking coin. You think they get crap care? No way. Over heard a business man saying he lived here 9 years, I went over to the table and said “pardon the interuption but…” he filled me in. Checking out the Australian Consulate as they help Canadians as well. It’s really $$$ but you know what you’re getting, also this way I can cruise south into Cambodia, then Vietnam just keep going, keep on trucking like my boy CMI.

Last night, I ran into a whole new crew, like I do every day. Some guy on my facebook was like “yo Rob, are you bored traveling alone yet?”. Hmmm NO!? Traveling alone is the ultimate sense of adventure, unknown and excitement if you have the guts and funds to make it work. Remember, no drama, it’s your trip, you meet a crew and get along? That’s all you need to worry about. Being gregarious and slightly nefarious at times is a great combo.

Anyways, I’m going to hang out here today, might even go back to Vang Vieng. When I got to Ventiane I was like … I feel like smashing a mirror on my face then carving WEAK into my chest before sterilizing it with a half used urinal cake for leaving soo soon. I wanted to make sure I could get the injection here and if I couldn’t, I’d have to leave like today or tomorrow to Bangkok. Give yourself some time in Veng Vieng, it’s a special place for anyone who is cool and under 30. Over 30, sure just I hope you look young as you’ll be old man on the river, ha.

Alas, who knows but I miss tubing, I’d love to be watching family guy, eating a huge breakfast then just meet mad randoms and chill in a river drinking cheap whiskey, indeed. On a side note, I woke up early after going to bed late. Chilling with some new friends from New York and we hear this crazy local music BLASTING like BOOM BOOM BOUNCE… BOOM BOOM BOUNCE…

We decided to rock the spot or something like that, it’s this family doing karaoke and blaring it into the street so we join them and their feast doing shots of whisky before jumping in a tuk tuk to some discoteque, the discoteque sucked and that was pretty much the rest of the evening. The stuff the drivers off you here is hilarious, you’re like wow bro, no holding back just going for the home run are we? I came to chase some drinks, not the dragon thanks.

Alright, I’ve written enough timely and arguably relevant crap for this day.

Tips hat,

P.S: I want to buy some suits and tuxedos very soon, maybe Vietnam?