Greetings fine citizens of the internet,

It’s POURING in Phuket, Thailand. Absolute insanity really. I would say it’s “raining cats and dogs” but it’s more like “it’s raining rhinos and cattle” or something to that effect.

Since arriving in Phuket I’ve slept a whopping 34 hours. 15 hours each night ~9PM-Noon and the first afternoon I passed out for 4 hours before dinner. When you have no job, staying up ~36-40 hours at a time is no big deal, similarly to sleeping an entire day. “Time” really has no meaning except some restaurants and stores are closed when you’d like them to be open.

I think I have a stomach bug or just a really crappy stomach. I found a place that served street soup and I eat it. Later that night it felt like I had gremlins drilling a hole in the side of my abdomen. The next day I was trying to think what it could be. It surely “can’t be my stomach” as I can eat anything, I pride myself in my stainless steel stomach.

I go back to same place, yeah it was definitely the sketchy street soup. My knee is getting way better. I took out the “last bit of infection” the other day, it was weird and came out like a big piece of snot. After that it was just a hole, a deep one at that.

I have been playing “Doctor and Nurse” on myself by taking this infection very seriously (last 2-3 days) and even went to the Pharmacy and bought all the supplies, it cost me a crazy $1.30US, ha! I change the bandage and disinfect it then put on the antibiotics. It’s all good. I now feel like I have an elementary school child’s understanding of infections and proper procedures.

It’s pouring, I’ve been wandering around for the last hour or so just “enjoying my life” like an old retired guy without a care in the world. I’m glad to be leaving Patong though. It’s overpriced, over crowded with banana hammock wearing euro’s and seedy sex tourists. I’ve never seen so many here. I find it amusing and disturbing all in one.

My flight to Bangkok is at 11:30 tonight. I will lobby for an extended checkout and then just get to the airport whenever I get there. They have some SICK deals on Ping / Callaway and Titleist Golf Shirts around here. You know the ones made from that stretchy “athletic” fabric.

I am trying to remember prices in Bangkok and have come to conclude I’m 1000X better at sniffing out deals now then ever before. This one lady wanted 200b each shirt. I told her how much for 5, she said 180. I scoffed and said “I could get 180 for 1 from you”, she smiled. I punched in 140 and she said “ok”.

At another place today on the way here, they wanted 400b each shirt, not even the “primo” material. I walk away “200!” Kept walking. I really like PING it’s my favorite golf company hands down and I love their little “ping guy” logo.

On the topic of golf, I hope Tiger Woods starts playing again. We all knew he was a player so we shouldn’t be shocked about this. I just don’t understand why he got married at all? Furthermore, his wife is hot, no denying it but she looks BORING. I’m sure Tiger just couldn’t take it anymore.  Tiger just decided to “stop having a boring life”, it’s that simple really.

I digress.

I’ll get into Bangkok and go straight to Khao San Road. The place is a JUNGLE but I know my way around and will run into other tourists. I need to decide whether I go to Laos / Cambodia or just stay chill out.

I have a friend from Finland and some lady friends from Spain arriving in Bangkok ~13th. That will be about the time this whole knee infection will be done and “drinks” may be in order.

I’m starting to realize what kind of tourist I am. Instead of visiting 100 countries, why not learn 10 languages? I think being able to speak 10+ languages would be cool. Much cooler than a bunch of stamps. You can  survive on just English but surviving is for suckers. I truly like to thrive. As a result, I may look into a Thai intensive course. This would extend my visa, give me a reason to chill in Bangkok and get me “going” on a really cool language.

Alright, this post which had “no plan” has taken on a life of it’s own. Next you hear from me, if all goes according to plan, I’ll be in Bangkok writing about how much I love the freshly squeezed OJ you can get on most corners, MAN I love that stuff.

Tips hat,

Ladies, gentlemen, investors, imbeciles, travelers and troglodytes alike,

I write this to you from a small internet cafe in Patong, Phuket, Thailand.  I will recount for you a ~24 hour trip from Yogyakarta, Indonesia to Phuket, Thailand in as few words as possible as this keyboard blows and nothing irritates me more than an insensitive keyboard.

I digress.

At 6PM I head over to the train station in Yogyakarta, about 1 hour later I check the band-aid I put on my infected knee, wholy $!@# things have gotten “worse”. It’s black and has this weird chunky chili sauce coming out of it. I make a small video I will feature in some post about infections, whenever I get around to it. I squeeze it and it feels “crunchy”. First some puss colored green, yellow and orange before the chili starts. I could of served a table of 6 with the “chili sauce” for their warung meal if I had any takers.

At this point I lay on 3 bandaids and roll over to the train station slightly stressed about the deteriorating state of my knee.  Traveling while not being able to walk is like a truck driver with no wheels… Side note, lots of sex tourists here. I think I’ve wandered into a queer part of town because everyone I’ve seen lately looks really queer, heck the guy next to me is taking the blush?(took me a while to come up with this) out of his “murse” and looking at himself in the little mirror. This is just some random street in front of the posh hotel I mention at the bottom of this update.

Yes, I’m digressing again.

So I get to the train station and ask the meds if they can help me, they oblige and “hook me up” for free. Get on the train. Instantly I hear this whack music and there are two lady boy’s walking down the isle looking for $. These aren’t typical lady boys, they look like the cast of cheers only with wigs on, it was weird. The guy next to me says “uniques” and starts laughing. Remember how I told you that the toilets were creep shows? Look below, that’s it, that’s all.

This is a night train so I lock my pack then wrap the straps around the top compartment so no one could get them, howe clever. The guy next to me is cool and my age which is relieving as the guys behind me were majorly creepy. I didn’t sleep a wink, I just drank criminal amounts of coffee and read random literature and stared out the window.

Get to Jakarta station, Pasa Sengen or something like that at 4:30AM. WHAT A ZOO. I am so glad I did not opt to go to Jakarta that first night. There is also tones of street kids and whatnot all over the map, people sleeping on the floor everywhere. I see one cop, a really fat guy smoking a cig with rolls in his stomach. You had to be there the place was “priceless” in a get me out of here type way.

Hop in a cab, least I could say was that this cab was rare, but I said “nah forget it yo …” or something like that. This guy sped like a demon and I have it all on fim. For a while I thought he was taking me for a tour of the city on my dime, which was “ok” as I was going to ask him for one. The ride to the airport cost me more than my train ticket, odd how that works, yes? I will say the executive trains look way nicer, I will try and get on one next time as the train I was on, was like a park bench for 10 hours, seriously. The only pro was that you could smoke, in your seat. I smoked so much I gave the rest away when I left Indonesia and now regret it as smokes are 3x as pricey here.

Get to the airport and buddy dropped me off at wrong terminal, thanks guy. Cop tells me where to go, get there. Now I’m there and my bandage is running off and puss is running down my leg. Go to the hospital in the airport, right next to the interrogation room. YOU DO NOT want to go to that room, I could feel the negative energy and I envisioned guys yelling at the top of their lungs ” TELL ME WHERE….” Then putting a cigarette out in the guys eye or something, very least his arm.

The ladies loved “chatting it up” and interrogated me as to why I was not married. I told her what’ s the rush? They asked why I don’t have a traveling girl friend I said “most are dirty and possibly infected like my knee” or so I assume at least. They laughed at that, I went on my way.

Realize you should pay airport fee before exchanging your money, then my bag got broken into at the airport but luckily I was first through customs. Take the “airporter” what a crappy bus to Phuket Town as supposedly lots of places for a decent room. THERE WAS NO ROOMS! They were all crap over drastically over priced for what felt like a down and out African city in the middle of nowhere. I found a lady looking for Patong but she got in my nerves in a “I can’t stand being around you” type way. As a result I ditched her by walking the other way when she stopped to ask a question. She bartered in a really aggressive I’m going to make you pay type way. Not my style. At this point I’m walking around lost, tired and it starts to POUR.

I arrive as the bus is about to leave, see another hotel go to the hotel and realize the bus is leaving run after bus and jump on as it’s peeling off. Wow, what a relief. The ticket was nothing, not even $1US and I get to Patong. Some guy on the bus who I chat with (0bviously, I talk to everyone) fills me on good places to stay. After finding places for a wide spectrum of prices I get a good room, good rate. Some lazies would of paid more for less but having no JOB except reading IBC and smiling as I see my stocks rise, I decided part of my job is being as “efficient” with my coin as possible. Heck I have nothing better to do. I spent 45 minutes today in the most expensive hotel in Patong’s lobby just “cooling my core” because I could.

Yeah, that’s my story. Last night was a write-off and hopefully today will be much of the same. Patong is an “alright  city” but the beach is so overcrowded it would make your head spin. I will post photos of that tomorrow. Maybe one below, who knows. I mean YOU CANNOT walk it is so crowded and I don’t know if everyone there is from Europe but “bikini bottoms” seems to be the #1 choice for men and women alike, young and old alike, it’s “different” to say the least. It’ s also much more expensive than other Thai islands because it has an airport. As a result it’ s mainly people looking to blow their loads on vacation and they raise the price of everything.

Jakarta at Night

Greetings,

Saying a formal “goodbye, hope to see you again” to Yogyakarta. I really liked it here and would love to come back sometime when healthy. I am taking a night train to Jakarta from the Yogyakarta station on Maliboro, where I spent a most unique New Years Eve. Business class was 130,000Ru and executive was 250,000Ru. I’m going business again but may live to regret that as I’m starting to think how hot it may be. Oh well, c’est la vie.

Always book tickets as soon as you know, I showed up yesterday at ~4PM and the lady told me they were “sold out”. I almost had an aneurysm. I went to another ticket booth and the lady said “you are lucky” we only have 10 seats left and executive is sold out. Most of the people on holiday are going back home, the same people who hogged all the hotel room on New Years. Okay, they didn’t hog them, I’m just the one to blame for being totally mindless of the fact that “people travel and book hotels on New Years”.

For security reasons I will put a pad lock on my big bag then attach the straps that are usually for your waist and chest to the overhead compartment. This way people can’t get in, and if they try and steal it, they won’t get far. My small backpack holding all my “digital equipment” will be on the floor, towards the middle of the seat or wall if I have a window seat. With that, I will lock my leg through in a special away that makes it impossible to steal or at least very difficult. They could theoretically go through my stuff but the ~probability is an acceptable risk. The photo below is from the Sarabaya train station. The one in Yogyakarta is similar only this time my trip is a beloved “night train”.

Only in Jakarta for ~7 hours  as I arrive at 3:45AM and fly out at 11am. I will hang out in the airport burning through my rupiahs like a spend thrift before I fly to Phuket, Thailand.I have heard serious mixed reviews about this place as being an expensive “packaged tourist” aka trendy type place. As a result I’m contacting some party friends from Koh Phi Phi. If I am not tooo tired I may just catch a ferry from Phuket to Koh Phi Phi, drink a few buckets and chill out for 2 days  before returning to Phuket for my flight to Bangkok.

Flip side is, I’m only there 2 days and I don’t care “what people say”. I like to make up my own opinions. I loved Bangkok and Kuta, most don’t. Furthermore if I “listened to what people say.” I’d still be freezing in Ottawa as many say “it’s the best place on earth”. Give me a break, in the summer maybe but in the winter, what a joke.

I posted yesterday about unfriendly foreigners. You see, had I not made any friends I’d have nothing to do. Now only a few months later as I’m going through familiar areas, I have friends there and it’s a good feeling when you are on the other side of the world. I believe you can never have enough friends, am I wrong?

Since I have a long travel period ahead, I am trying to drink water like a fish right now and get it all “worked through” before I get on board. Once I get on board I will drink water sparingly as the washrooms are a nightmare in their own right. I will also try and avoid eating anything too “loco” as once again, the bathrooms are a “creep show”. On these trips I just like to “exist” with no real need to do anything. If you’ve been traveling through here, you know what I’m saying, yes?

That’s it, that’s all. Next time I update I’ll be back in the beautiful Adaman Sea, off the coast of Thailand.

Cordially,

Phuket, Thailand