There is this little bar in Kuta, Bali called “Alley Cat” or something like that. I want to grab the owner by his collar and yell in his face “ARE YOU INSANE!?” They sell double vodka red bulls for 10,000R or $1. Suffice to say, it’s ridiculous. This update is titled “Double Trouble” as it’s the name of the drink special.

Was going to go to bed early and got to my room, then I stopped by my British friends and decided to go for “just one drink”. Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Spent the day hanging at the beach and getting massages. This lady on the street is like “Want a massage, 40,000″ I say sure even though I was just going for lunch, had no intention of getting one. That’s why they ask everyone, you never know.

So I get in and she is massaging me, out of nowhere I feel this soft hand on my hand and this lady starts clipping my nails, this other lady starts doing the same on my feet and then this other lady starts massaging my legs. I’ve never had 4 women working on me at once for less then the price of a starbucks coffee. I’ve also never had a pedicure or a manicure, let alone while getting a tag team massage.

Knowing they would want money I waited until they were done and about 20 minutes into the massages. They tell me they want money for it so I say something along the lines of I just came here for a massage, she says your nails were long and dirty, I said “I’m aware of that”. I give them 50,000R($5) and say listen, just wanted a massage here is the $, thanks but I’m outta here. If anyone starts doing something for you without you asking, stop them or be prepared to pay.

Listen, this keyboard blows, I’m getting carpal tunnel just trying to type, one of those horrible “Internet Cafe” type keyboards. Space bar barely works and you have to push soooo hard just to make it register.

Good day,

Yo yo, ladies, gentlemen, derelicts and debutantes,

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I got to the airport at 7:45 and my flight left at 8:30, had no clue what terminal and I just guessed, I guessed wrong. Finally I get to the gate @ 7:55…. They tell me the gate has closed, I say, anything we can do… Suddenly it is open again.

I go to the gate and then run to immigration, massive line. I walk to the “VIP” aka “late” aka whatever. The dude lectures me on how arriving late is selfish and wrong. Stamps and I’m off. I run like I had hells dog hounds at my feet and get to security. I have so much electronics they could only laugh as I emptied my pockets. I took out a cell phone, sim card, 2 extra digi cam disks, 1 extra battery, a camera, ipod touch, headache pills and more.

I get to the gate and the guy takes my bag as I’m soooo late they have already boarded. I board the plane.

I get to Bali and feeling kinda frugal see this Austrian couple who bought a RTW ticket. I say “Hey let’s share a cab”. Our cab driver was the biggest downer in the world. Before that we exchange some money. These people were so cheap I felt like saying “Hey, why don’t you save another year to stop squabbling over dimes”.

I digress.

We get to Poppie lane in Kuta, Bail. What a DUMP. I mean glass shards on the tops of fences to keep freaks out and graffiti everywhere. I leave them and meet these Aussie chicks who say they have a place for 85,000R a night… Like a fool I follow the Austrians who have some Lonely Planet book. This couple was the 1000000% opposite of me, walking around dark alley’s with a lonely planet book looking for some place some guy stayed a few years ago. We get there they are sold out. So we keep looking and she is like the book says it should cost 85,000R a night… Nope, some dude says “hey that book is OLD, get with the times”, I laugh, so does he.

So… This trip has worked LIKE A CHARM in the past why? Because typically I would of followed the Aussie chicks to a nice place. We walk around these graffiti and cockroach infested back alleys for about half an hour. Finally I find a place for 165,000R a night. DOUBLE what I would of had, had I followed my gut, followed what has worked. Guide books are for people with no social skills. You get to POINT A and you talk to people and you go from there. Whatever, what is done is done.

So this place has no lock box and the door you could kick through, whateves (sic).

At this point I buy some smokes, 10,000R aka $1 for a pack of Marlboro lights. (quit for a bit, but at these prices, why not) Then I go to the “main club district”. It’s about a ~5 minute walk. Seriously I was offered “things” about 2 dozen times and I’m NOT exaggerating. I go to almost every club on the strip and drink a Heiny (sic) for about $3.50, then find a local beer similar to Chang which is a large version for $3.00. Drink a few. Next thing you know I’m on the dance floor.

Honestly this place is GRIMMEY!!!! I mean it’s outta control. If you want to get wasted for cheap and dance until dawn… I’d say go to Koh Phi Phi in Thailand, same same but nicer and different.

Meet a bunch of random people. At one point in I’m this techno club. Just sitting there. There are like 10 Aussie ladies just dancing on the main floor. I say to myself “I came here to stop having a boring life, if they don’t like me, I’ll go elsewhere.” End up dancing with them for hours before exchanging infos with this one lovely lady whose name I have already forgotten, ha.

Now it’s ~ 3:30 AKA my regular bed time because I typically follow the market. I’ve been trading in and out of POT.TO and FSLR for the last week for a tidy win might I add.

The place is UBER ghetto, my room is ok though. If you push the door forward you can see my whole room though, not so nice but it does have a pool, yay! I mean like as I said, graffiti on all the walls, roaches on the street and glass shards on top of the walls. If you are a prude or “straight edge” or a just a wimp… Don’t come here. Oh yeah, I’m in KUTA.

I leave my hotel for wifi. Instantly as I walk out the gate into this seedy back alley these dudes on a vespa say “Want a ride” I say “Sure”. So we’re 3 people on this tiny moped and they drop me off at this internet cafe that I’m typing this to you. It’s ~$0.90 an HOUR… What a deal.

Tomorrow I will find those Aussies OR realistically sleep through my deadline and pay another night @ ~$18 a night but look for it. She told me it was a place run by a family and they were cool, sounds cool to me.

Truth be told, since I’m getting near 3 months on this trip, this whole “party scene” is getting old. I will most likely stay here tomorrow, check out the beach then move to other beaches so I can share them with you, “John and Jane Q, Public”. If drinks weren’t cheaper then dirty I’d probably of said forget, no that’s a lie. I always go out my first night anywhere, it’s just “how I roll.”

Alright, it’s time for this gentleman to visit MAYBE 1 more club or just feel some local flavor. I will note this. People offering you stuff here is EXTREMELY BLATANT, what a contrast from Singapore. At ~3AM, I saw a WHOLE TRUCK LOAD of “Polisis” or whatever unloading into the “club district”.

Word to the wise, watch yourself, ok?

Alright, “Kuta” better impress me tomorrow or the day after I’m going to explore more and tour the island because I can. This place is kinda “deadbeat row”. If you are covered in tats and have no future, it may JUST BE the place for you. Otherwise, not much to see from my limited “got here at midnight” first night impression.

Good day,

P.S Gold looking alright to start dancing with again, slowly,  after a ~$10 haircut on the GLD ticker. Best to stay on your barstool and watch the floor imao.

I sit here, in a dark room ingesting inconceivable quantities of chocolate milk, 1 litre, 2 litre, 3 litre, 4. All the while pondering what to do with my time. I sit here calm, not panicking despite the fact my paypal account is limited and I haven’t done SQUAT since arriving in Singapore despite having more than ample time to do so.

Typically, in the past, when stuff didn’t go my way, I’d freak out and play the “why me, I’m so unlucky card”. Now, I realize at any given moment a multitude of people are getting screwed in a million different ways. “C’est la vie” as the French would say.

Back to yesterday.

Met some friends at Raffles City Mall, proceeded to visit the financial district and the sight of the new monster casino they are building. Whenever I look at casinos I laugh, then when people tell me how they plan on winning big, I laugh even harder. Look how lavish and luxurious these buildings are. Also remember they are built with “losers” money and the shattered hopes, dreams and financial statements of the many fools thinking “they will be the lucky one”. Mind you, there are “the lucky ones” but most get totally destroyed then go eat a low budget meal and feel bad for themselves, why take the risk anyways?

I digress.

After the the business district we strolled through China Town and I bought the most disgusting meal I’ve had in my entire stay in Asia. It was this beef noodle thing but the beef was boiled and 78.93% fat or more on each “chunk”. These Singaporean guys sat with us and were laughing saying in these places, if you buy beef, go to someone who specializes in beef or forget it, they agreed our meal look disturbed and arguably diseased. As a result I left most of the meat, I wish I could tell you I didn’t eat some but I did, it was horrible. The other guy I was with bought the same meal and wouldn’t even touch it.

Shortly after, having decided to quit smoking as a result of the last “thoughts” update, I bought 3 pairs of silk boxers. Spending $11.10 a day on smokes in Singapore is sinful. It’s crazy how you could change your silk  boxers 3 times a day and you’d still be spending less then on cigarettes and you wouldn’t be killing yourself, mind boggling really.

I’m not going to repeat things, just check out this video blog update from yesterday for what happened during the day. I had grandiose plans of returning home, changing into “evening attire” but those never developed and found myself out in the club district in beach like attire.

The alumni party was good, met lots of old friends for the first time. One guy worked for Dow Jones, so we chatted about stocks while downing ale. He had an interesting perspective and the more I chat with brokers, guys who design software for hedge funds, analysts etc… I’m realizing more and more that most / much of the volume on all major indexes is just robots moving massive amounts of coin based on technical algorithms. That’s why “Ronnie the Retail Investor” usually gets left holding the bag, they see a massive say volume spike and think it’s accumulating, no it’s just a 36-72 wheel semi truck in the market buying on a program and then selling a  for a 1% or .5% gain say a minute later or even less.

They  move such big orders that in that ~30 seconds of exposure they often turn a profit larger than many households earn in a lifetime. Crazy, yes? Knowledge is power and when you’re driving on the same high way as these 18, 36 and 1341530 wheelers on a tiny peddle powered moped, you must be aware or pay the consequences. Also, everyone seems to want to buy stocks after they have been going up for a while, yet no one wants to buy them after they have been going down for a while… Interesting how the herd thinks, yes?

The drinks were $7S for 2 which is an absolutely ludicrous deal for Singapore. Met a lot of cool people then crashed a KPMG party. Was chatting with some ladies when the announcer singled them out to come on stage effectively “blowing our cover”. We continued to hang out and mingle until this one guy was on to us, so we left. If I had been there in custom made cashmere suits like the rest, probably would of gone undetected really but instead I was in flip flops and cargo shots.

After the alumni function I was ready for bed, but that never happened. We hit up “Le Noir” which enforces a dress code of pants and dress shoes or something to that effect. The bouncer said no way to me and I as cool with that and as I mentioned, ready to go home. Shortly after this lady from Malaysia comes out and I start chatting with her and suddenly my “shorts and flip flops are “ok”. H3ll I even had a shopping bag with boxers in it and a 1L bottle of water, the oddest “night club attire” I’ve ever had. Turns out it has nothing to do with the lady from Malaysia, my friend is an “acquaintance” with the manger who is also the manger of Attica. I will note this, when you go into a swankish (sic) club dressed like a bum, suddenly women are more interested in you, primarily because they are wondering “who is this guy if he can get in dressed like that…”

Go into this club and mingle and meet a friendly and diverse international crowd. ok, there wasn’t really any mingling this wasn’t a cocktail party, it was a dance club and that’s what we did.  Had we left at 1-2 am, that probably would of been fine but found ourselves at MacDonald’s buying over-priced low quality garbage at ~4AM.

Singapore does have a diverse nightlife and it’s good fun. It’s funny though how you can buy a cheap ticket out of Singapore and save ~$100 but then go out and suddenly it cancels out. Flip side is if you were going to spend X amount, a flight and night out is more value for your buck then say, just a flight out, yes?

It’s pouring here and I’m sweating in Singapore with a fan, that’s alright though. Spoke home and my friends / family are scraping ice off their sedans and getting ready for a deep freeze. Being “away from it all” makes me wonder why I or anyone else for that matter ever put up with that in the first place. Snow is great fun, in the mountains but when it’s in the city streets… Why not move somewhere more accommodating?

Today, I have done nothing except go to the store to buy beverages and some Indian place for eats. When you have been traveling for a while and plan on traveling much longer, a week or so in certain places just “relaxing” does a world of good and is often just what’s needed.

I will note that wearing flip flops in the rain is hazardous, they become very slick and ~3 times yesterday I almost seriously eat it, with a “wow that was close sentiment”, none worse then after checking out the Chinese temple above. Almost totally twisted my knees. When you are traveling, if you can’t walk, you’re screwed. On the topic of the statue below, I’m not sure if he’s welcoming or telling you to get lost, mixed messages I believe.

Good day,

So yesterday, I took the bus for 39R to Singapore. Everything was cool and relaxed until I got to the Singapore border, that’s when stuff started getting stressful, the most tense ~5-10 minutes of my entire trip, let me elaborate.

First, my dad used to travel a lot when he was younger, I remember going through the US / Canada customs and never having a problem. On one of the many occasions I remember him once telling me that the only time he ever had any issues was when he was traveling alone, no real plans and slightly scruffy. I’m used to being clean cut, no facial hair (Movember is almost over) and well dressed. I’ve never had a problem anywhere, for anything, in fact, most times it’s been quite pleasant.

When you show up to a border, looking like a skid who doesn’t even resemble the photo on your passport anymore, it’s a very different scenario. I know it’s different but I can now relate to people who have had problems at borders, whether it’s for the country of origin of their passport, religious beliefs, their name, anything really.

I came into Singapore, I had no exit ticket booked and the guy was convinced I was not the gentleman pictured in my passport. The passport is 2 years old and I was heavier and very clean cut. Now, I’m thinner and well if you saw the video blog, quite scruffy if I don’t say so myself.

The guy kept looking at me and shaking his head, saying nope… He wanted to know why I was only coming for 5 days if I didn’t have a ticket booked yet. He asked me every detail he could from the passport and was just shaking his head saying … This picture does not look like you. I told him I only plan on staying for 5 days on my way to Bali because this place is expensive and yeah it is, especially if you go for a “night out on the town”.

If I did not have other ID, credit cards and the like, I think I’d still be in Malaysia. What’s weird is when we stopped at a rest stop, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and even I remarked to myself “wow, I look different”.

Long story short he finally said, I don’t know and then just stared at me for about 30 seconds, didn’t know what to do, do I look away? At this point I was getting unnerved. Finally he said “okay” and stamp, stamp, stamp.

So I made it into Singapore. First thing I remarked was how clean and modern the place was. Right when I got dropped off I was going to jay-walk as the light was about 200M away, as I pondered it I looked up and there was a massive sign “No Jaywalking”. If you get caught discarding gum or a cigarette butt, it’s a $300 fine, second time is either $600, $1000 or community service, not sure as no one in the group I met has had that happen. That said, all of them have had a $300 offense, in fact it’s quite common.

If you go out for a “Night on the Town” be ready to bring your wallet. We went to the White Rabbit, MiMillotte(sp) and then Attica. White Rabbit was a great time and “Misty Rabbit” had come from France playing house music. The MiMillotte was dead but a super nice layout, finally we hit “Attica”.

Attica is arguably one of the funnest clubs I’ve ever been to in a while. It has 2 floors that I’m aware of, the lower one being hip-hop, the top one being house music. We went straight to the top floor and spent the rest of the night there, and a ludicrous amount of money. Drinks are $15 each, doubles $30. (Note: Talked to a local lady from here who said the place is only fun if you have a few drinks and are with a good crew, the way I was. Besides that she said it can be sleazy and lots of people go there looking to pick up or ladies looking to work. Being a germaphobe who doesn’t even like sharing drinks, I wouldn’t of noticed such things, you’ve been warned. Then again, aren’t most major night clubs like that?)

We partied with people from around the world, notably a big crew from India who were just hilarious even though there wasn’t that much talking going on.

Finally we checked out another club and when we left, it was light out. Ended the night with some breakfast and a swim. I will tell you now, going out for “drinks” in Singapore puts a new meaning to the term “better bring your wallet”. Having done it in a most egregious fashion, I don’t think I’ll go out again while here. If you’re traveling the globe you can afford to be discriminating in the activities you partake in, in different parts of the world. I.E If you want to speed, you go to Germany, if you want to dive, check out the islands in Thailand, gamble? You go to Vegas and so on…

This place has an incredibly safe and clean feel to it. That said, rent is also incredibly expensive and the majority of wages are lower than in North America and Europe. Also cars are often taxed 100%.

I could see myself living here, if I had an incredibly high paying job for a multinational corporation or say, a hedge fund. Apart from that, it’s nice to visit but it all depends on what you value. If you value clean, orderly and safe… Then it’s quite possibly heaven on earth, and isn’t it worth paying for what you value?

Either way, I plan on being here for a few days as it’s good to see an old friend again and I really like the feel to the place. On twitter and through friends I’m finding out some of the cooler things to do and see here and will investigate those.

I’m also considering going back to “Traditional Rob” aka clean cut and proper. When you’re on the thai islands, being all “out there” is good times and good fun, when in places like Singapore, you just feel like a scruff. That said, scruffy or not, how you handle yourself, how you interact with people plays a very large role as well. One can be a gentleman while looking disheveled or be a total douche bag donned in designer threads.

Good day,

P.S Always do your OWN homework, someone told me the exchange rate for Singapore dollars compared to Malaysian Ringgit and I based most purchasing decisions based on that, they were wrong, horribly wrong. Lesson learned.

Wow, what an evening in the Kuala Lumpur Nightlife.

At 8PM I met up with a British lady I met in Krabi, she had 3 Aussie ladies she met at the hostel with her. We proceed to a Reggae Bar and began drinking. I was going to leave until the Tequila came, then suddenly I turned into “Robocop”, once again. The nightlife in Kuala Lumpur is great, but you need to know where your hotel is!

We partied with arguably the most international crowd I’ve ever had the pleasure of drinking with. I’m talking, Norway, Spain, Venezuela, Belgium, Australia, South Africa, Israel, Jordan, Thailand and others that elude me right now. The music was good and the dancing was great.

Being the gentleman that I am, I escorted the women home, had a drink then went on my way. The ladies lived somewhat off the beaten path, I mistook a landmark for something I knew and proceed onwards.

I walked, and walked and walked. I walked until I knew I was totally lost, I backtracked, I went by my landmarks and kept going. At this point I ONLY KNEW 1 road so I went there and began walking. Suddenly I was near the place we partied but still hopelessly lost. When lost in strange cities, late at night is VITAL you look like you know where you’re going, even when totally and completely lost, if not, you become an easy mark.

Finally I went into a hotel and asked for a map, it was different then the one I had. I went to another hotel and got another map. The lady showed me somewhat were to go, again I took a wrong turn until I saw a sign I recognized from today when I bought the adapter. Finally I was on my way home.

I just spent 2 hours walking around the side roads of Kuala Lumpur without the slightest idea where I was. I saw roaches, rats and all sorts of other vermin feasting on the left overs of the day.

For what it’s worth, outside the MacDonald’s, I saw a swarm of maybe 60 roaches, all big enough to well, I dunno but they were LARGE. I also saw rats the size of my sneakers fighting over pieces of food before retreating to the sewers as I walked by.

Strangers whispered “Hey Friend…” and what not, I just kept walking. I walked like I knew where I was going despite being hopelessly lost. It was a learning experience. ALWAYS write down the hotel name and address when going out in a strange city. This reminds me of my bed bugs incident… I’m glad it happened but while I was lost, it was quite stressful, this won’t happen again.

The night life in Kuala Lumpur is great, the drinks are quite pricey compared to Thailand yet still reasonable compared to back home and a bargain compared to Las Vegas.

I am now retiring at 1:41am, still exhausted from the bus ride but glad I went out. Seriously, write down your hotel, when lost and you don’t even know the street or hotel, it’s horrible… I’m just glad I remembered a major hotel nearby or I’d still be wandering the streets aimlessly.

1 love,

P.S there is a big mold conglomeration on my ceiling, should I be worried? What’s a bigger risk, some mold or smoking? Undecided but both isn’t good.

As it happens, shortly after posting that, I was awaken to hear the whole crew coming in the door, much to my chagrin. Well not really to my chagrin, I just felt like saying that  but it turns out the night ended as quickly as it started.

On of the ladies that was with them jumped the VIP line and some large, grizzly, aggressive bouncer threw her out of the bar similar to the way Uncle Phil used to throw Jazz out of his place in the  Fresh Prince of Belair, now that was a great show. After being thrown out one of the ladies wanted to go dance at a gay bar so off they went. My friends, being bewildered came back and spent the rest of the evening doing whatever drunk guys do, drinking rye.

I on the other hand passed out and woke up for the first time in days without the feeling of having a dagger in my throat. Life’s a lot more enjoyable when you have basic functions sans pain, seriously.

Today  I’m finally going to get to go fishing. Maybe catch some rock cod or some dog fish. Frankly I’ll take anything that will bite my line and hopefully put up a decent fight. The plan is still to go to Tofino tomorrow. Whether it happens or not is anyone’s guess.

I have been looking into the trademarks and became aware that Canadian Trademarks hold no weight in the United States. I still have to research this but it makes sense. Another issue with trademarks besides the cost of registering (which is nominal, say $250) is the price of enforcing them. If someone does use your trademarks and you’re legally entitled to make them stop, you still have to spend the $$$ on lawyers in order to effectively make it happen. If it’s some crappy startup that you’re “suing” what do you hope to get from them? You can’t get blood from stone so … I’m not sure what to think on that regard. Time to do some more research but for now, time to do some fishing.

The weather out here in Victoria is unreal, it’s been sunny since I got here and extremely pleasant. Below is a picture from the Harbor I took when I first arrived on Tuesday.