I sit here, shedding a single, solitary tear for the splendid time I did spend in the South East Asian country of Singapore. The longer I stayed, the more I grew fond of this special place. My only regret is that I will be missing Zoukout 2009. (More details at bottom of this update) You’d be shocked how many people type in “Singapore + Bored” or “Singapore + Boring” related search terms. Many coming here, of course.

That being said, I had a different experience then most travelers would. I stayed with an old friend and his 2 flatmates were great people whose hospitality was only out shadowed by their hilarity. Almost every other backpacker I’ve run into has stayed no more than 72 hours. Many leaving in shorter than 48. For a guy who is writing a blog and earns online, odd how the couch I was given had a Twitter & RSS Feed pillow, yes? I dreamed of subscribers and had nightmares of spam from want to be “life coaches”, whatever that means.

Woke up today with some problems involving a bank account, a domain registration and other things. I won’t bother you with them because frankly, they were boring and I’m glad they are done with.

I will note though that you should keep your credit card and your bank cards separate even though I have them together until now. If your bank card isn’t working, time to hit up the credit card for some cash. Just be sure to pay it off instantly as I *believe* they accrue interest from the moment it’s been withdrawn. Not sure as I’m very unfamiliar with credit card interest and I plan on keeping it that way.

If you ever go to Singapore I recommend you do the following. Check out Orchard Road and see ALL that it has to offer, it’s quite a range. Check out Sentosa beach area and have a laugh. Stroll down Haji Lane and maybe do some shopping, then go on a leisurely jaunt to China Town for some cheap but good food before going for a drink anywhere in Clarke Quay. If you want a really cheap and random experience, crash an alumni or work party.

If you stay longer than a day, you may wish to peruse some bargains in Little India before catching a flight out. Be sure to use the MRT as it’s one of the coolest most complex subway systems int he world and incredibly efficient and affordable. Avoid cabs as they run high with all the traffic. Also ask around what some of the “Local delicacies” are and try whichever one tantalizes your taste buds. You should also try and visit a Hawker Center which are these massive outdoor food courts run by independents. Be warned though, some of the best meals are there but it’s also where I got my “worst meal in Asia“.

Things you could do without while visiting Singapore? I said go to Clarke Quay for A drink, not “drinks”. The clubs are good but clubs in most places around the world are good. A large large beer in Thailand is ~$2US a regular sized beer at a club in Singapore is ~$12-$15US and a sugary Singapore Sling is ~$24US(pre-tax). They also add your “tip” into the bill so the price will be higher then you expected. Save your liver for other countries where they encourage that type of thing. You also don’t need to really try the “Chili Crab or Singapore Sling“.

If you ARE going to go out for a “night on the town” with a group of people, it sounds ludicrous but your best bet is to buy a bottle of vodka for ~$190. You scoff sand say that’s ridonkulous(sic) but if you go and start drinking singles or doubles as a group, you will QUICKLY surpass that at any major club, trust me. Better yet just hang out in Singapore and save that dinero for other places where you can spend so much you’ll think you were robbed  when you wake up and it still only adds up to ~$50.

If you know people and you are traveling for a while it’s one of the best places to “relax and regroup”. The internet is splendidly stable and this is a first world country so I’m sure it will be like “hanging out at home”, only on the other side of the planet for those of you from North America, like myself.

So I’m going to Indonesia where EVERY traveler is a millionaire! Check out that exchange rate. $1US is ~9425 Rupiah. For the sake of simplicity round up to 10,000. Therefor if something costs 50,000 Rupiah it’s actually $5. KNOW your calculations before you leave or pay the price like I did in Singapore.

1 Indonesian rupiah = 0.000106 U.S. dollars

When I get to Bali @ ~11:30 tonight I will take a cab to “Poppins” Street in Kuta as supposedly they have a plethora of guest houses. A cab should cost me ~50,000R or ~$5US.  I will then do what I always do. Go into a few, check for bed bugs, ask for rates, inquire about wireless and then go check out more until I find a place I like. Then I’ll go back to the one I like and and shave a cool ~20-25% off. Note: After suggesting a discount, you will KNOW if they are game or not. If they are not, don’t make things awkward and go with it, ok? Then again you may not know if it’s awkward as many people spend their whole lives going through one awkward encounter after the other. Kinda like when someone speaks too long at an awards ceremony, everyone in the audience is cringing but they just keep yapping.

I digress.

I don’t typically like hitting strange cities late at night but the one benefit is getting a flexible room rate is very easy as you have leverage. It’s like “Listen, if I don’t take this room it’s going empty, let’s work a deal”.

A friend of mine emailed me about places to go surf. I’ve done “Boogie Boarding” in Venezuela and Dominican Republic when I was a kid but that’s about it. I think surfing would be fun and something I could get into as skiing and snowboarding two thins I used to love are no longer available to me after my “Freak Leg Press Accident” in 2001. Also supposedly Bali has some of the best surfing in the world so why not?

From Bali, I have no idea where I’m going to go. I may Check out Java then Sarawak on the island of Borneo before heading back to Bangkok to either travel north or catch a flight to Tanzania and work my way to South African then North through India to Burma to Thailand and restart there. If i did the latter it would be “getting warmer” when I went north from Thailand, makes sense, yes?

That said, I’m horrible with plans and a friend from Finland just sent me a message on IM so who knows what will happen.

Today as I was walking home from the MRT I ran into this guy and for some reason I said “What’s up”. He said “Nothing” we started talking. Then he told me he is from here but lived in China for 20 years. I said awesome, if one were to get clothing made, like show up with an article of clothing and say “Can you make this exact thing with different fabric and change a few design things here here and here, and add this here and there” etc… He said, that’s simple, where I’m from and he gave me his card, mobile number everything. Turns out he runs a company related to the industry but different.

So to conclude, Singapore was cool to hang out for almost 2 weeks. <pause and inhales a massive cloud of insecticide> they are doing their fumigating again. Where was I? Yeah, Singapore was cool and I’m glad I came. It’s not the most exciting place but it’s a must see on your trip and has many things that are “uniquely Singaporean”. How long you stay and how you play it is up to you. Just make sure you come visit. It’s also a “hub” for cheap flights to anywhere and only a ~$13US bus trip from Kuala Lumpur. I have to get going, need to pack and get ready for my flight ~20 minutes ago.

Yesterday, when I had my last meal at this Indian Place that had effectively become my “Kitchen” I made a video. Check it out or don’t, whatever.

P.S This new battery pack is better then the last but still quite poor. Go with quality when it comes to this type of thing if you can.

P.P.S Had I planned it better, I’d be in town for Zoukout which is Asia’s largest outdoor music festival. ~40,000 people on Siloso beach, Sentosa, this weekend. Oh well in the future I will pay attention to when the massive annual parties are. Those are the times to go full and just chill out the rest.

Greetings,

Today I found somewhere I didn’t mind spending some time in China Town, Singapore. I moderately enjoyed China town in a trip to the dentist type way even though it was really not that different then say “China Town” in any other city of the world I’ve been in. In fact all the “tourist attractions aka tourist traps” in Singapore are pretty lousy if you ask me, down right lame!

Flip side is why do I even care about these tourist traps? Once I leave, I’ll never come back unless it is for business / work. Seriously, this place is %#%# boring and my writing has been about as inspired as a destitute, deranged and arguably diseased derelict feasting on some deer road kill on the side of 8 mile Detroit. A friend of mine has been here for 3 years and he is starting to see it, I said “what the h3ll man, I’ve been here for 5 days and I can already tell you that.” He needs a quick slap to the side of the skull with an authentic samari swords sheath .

I got there and they had a plethora of delicious Chinese delectables at prices that would put a smile and wipe away the scowl from Scrooge McDucks face. I eat lunch, near the end the lady asked “want a drum stick, $2″, I quipped “no, I’ll take the egg” she said “you cheap cheap American, you come here no spend money” to which I replied “No, I’m a cheap Canadian and I’ve spent plenty, should of caught me Friday night”. Got a good lunch for $3.40, best deal I’ve had in Singapore if there is such a thing. Ahhh good old China Town.

After that I went over to this street vendor and bought some water and my first Asian “Ice Cream Sandwich” which is a block of ice cream in a piece of multicolored bread that looks like it could be a fierce mold attack, but wasn’t. I got a chocolate chip one, vanilla anything is plain boring, it was delicious, in a “this bread looks like mold” type way.

After that the gent chilling with the vendor said “you want to smoke, come have a seat”. You can’t smoke most places so I went over, sat down and enjoyed a smoke and ~30 minutes of convo. I just sat there, chilling, chatting with “Roy” if that’s his real name, from Singapore. He told me the place was boring as sin but safe, a great way to pass a plain old “vanilla gay” lifestyle aka for people over 47.5 years of age. He filled me in on lots of stuff and for the first time I was really thinking “yes, this is what I needed here” some real contact with a normal guy who told it lke it was He has nothing to sell me and everything coming out of his mouth is real, or something like that.

He filled me on lots of stuff and basically said Singapore is great for being safe and clean but if you don’t earn $$$ here and you get sick, they will let you die. He said that is if you don’t die of boredom first. Not so cool, furthermore he filled me in on how it’s becoming increasingly hard for many people living here as a result of extremely rich players from round the globe are coming in and buying up all the real estate like overweight women nicknamed “Big Bertha” binge on big macs. Similar situation in say, Vancouver but the land mass is so different that comparing them is asinine, as a result I’ll stop here.

Told Roy I was going to Bali then maybe Borneo then hopefully Manila, he warned me about Manila and Bali as being very dangerous compared to Singapore, but everywhere is, no? In Singapore if you get caught with a gun, you get hanged. Get caught with a knife? 7 years in jail! He said in Bali they target white men for some reason(hmmm wonder why?) and that Manila and KL most people are “packing heat” of some sort. Also told me about a lady he saw smoking earlier in a “no smoking zone” throw her smoke on the ground then get busted for 2 offenses. It’s cool in a conservative I only eat vanilla icecream type way, just don’t mess around, yes?

After that found some places I could buy the few healthy things in my diet keeping me from being bed ridden in a low-end budget hotel, cheap and in single quantities.  China Town wasn’t that large and easily accessible from the Sub Way. Cruised around some more but didn’t buy anything because it’s still over-priced and I pride myself on packing light and the fact that “things” mean nothing me… When I got my $$$ changed from thai baht’s the vendor said, you should of used this to buy nice clothes in Thailand instead of that cheap white t-shirt. If I wasn’t such a gentleman, I’d tell him a few thing I thought of him but I didn’t. Okay Okay,  it is a cheap white t-shirt but think of this… When I was lost in Kuala Lumpur at night… Had I been donned in polo with a fancy watch … Wonder what would of happened? Still probably nothing as I walked like I knew where I was going and gave a severe scowl to anyone who whispered “hey friend” while avoiding back alley’s and sticking to well lite roads, for the most part.

Roy said KL isn’t that safe and when he goes there, he leaves all his gold jewelry at home. Roy didn’t work at the ice cream shop, he was just chilling and was a much older guy with horrible teeth (sorry Roy) kinda made me think I should “butt out” once and for all.

The people here are so polite it’s almost ridiculous. I’m in MacDonald’s watching these two bulging bovinesque (sic) broads from let’s say Britain plug their pie hole with a “super sized big mac combo” while waiting for the bathroom. After about ~5 minutes this little dude comes out apologizing profusely and says “I had ….” At this point I’m thinking “thanks for sharing, I didn’t think you were writing your memoirs in there” and “do I look like a subscriber to the “toilet diaries?”. Either way it was pretty sick and I didn’t go in there for it smelt something foul and I’m not talking about those birds in the photo below.

After that I took the subway home and on the way saw the “Little India” stop so obviously I got out and checked it out. If you want to buy Indian clothes to bring home, this is the place. Also had lots of grocery stores, special spices and what not.

Truth be told, neither place really “wowed me” and considering these places are mentioned in all the guide books, ha what a laugh. Guide  books make me sick and are written for people who can’t figure out what they want to do. Seriously, if you just follow some lame guide book, why not just sit at home and check out some professional photos of the place?

One thing I will note about China Town, they had some of the grossest food I have ever seen. I’m talking boiled chicken or turkey heads, feet, you name it they were eating it all. I don’t know what it was except it was foul, something fierce.

Everyone I talk to says Bali is the bomb and to NOT GO being this close, would be absurd, as a result … Looking into Bali, maybe tomorrow night or within 72 hours.

Good Day,

P.S: I’m reading my last few entries and I feel like this blog is taking a turn for the worst. I’ve gone from a guy doing what he wants to posting lame photos of played out touristy crap that I didn’t even know or care to know about before visiting. That’s going to change, if you want to look at boring stuff you’d take your family on a trip to, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Apres my last update, I chilled out for a bit. Finally I was ready to crash again, at that exact moment I realized this lady from France I met in Koh Lanta was coming into town. She asked me where to stay etc, told her how to get to my place and we were going to meet up, have a drink, whatever. I have much respect for all solo travelers.

Being the gentleman that I am, I uproot myself from the bed in a near comatose state and went for a leisurely jaunt to the bus station. I love Kuala Lumpur, ok I just really like it but I`m a disheveled guy, with a moustache (sic), “he might be crazy” hair and a pair of aviators. (That said, who knows what’s around the next corner…)  I talked to some sisters from Sweden who do not like it, within 5 minutes of being here, this guy slapped her sisters `bottom` from the back of a motorcycle… They just don`t feel safe, I`ve heard that from a few ladies now, actually. On the topic of motorcycles, ladies, always keep your handbags on the shoulder AWAY from the street, many come by and snatch on back of motorcycles, if you’re a guy and your “murse” gets stolen, no sympathy here.

So I figure, hey, I`ll meet her at the station, I have nothing better to do and me being seriously `burnt out`at 5PM is no ones fault but my own. Cruise down there and start waiting, sit down, then the whole curb type thing starts to get packed, now I`m shoulder to shoulder with some local people, ahh this is traveling, this is living somewhere else. Most travelers I see here are in these huge packs, scared to look any which way. That or walking around like a total douche, reading their travel guide as though it was the holy grail for a guest house while almost getting smacked by oncoming traffic.

I have huge respect for travelers in the past, HUGE. The burly ladies and gentlemen who left with no maps, no way of calling home and no idea of what was safe or not. Today, so many people travel but I think they take these planned out routes, follow the same paths that some guide tells them and pay premium prices at guest houses that probably paid to get listed. That or the guy carrying the murse who wrote the book stayed there, the world is huge and every city is a world within a world. Why people follow these guides like some holy doctrine is beyond me.

I`d of thought Westerners would be more friendly here, after all there aren`t that many of us here in comparison, almost non existent in my age group. I pass by some and they just look freaked out like `don`t look anyone in the eyes`, really? I’ve been wandering around all over the place in proximity to my hotel. I’m going into strange food courts, at the top of shopping centers, a floor above the arcades where I stand out like a sore-thumb, gotten lost on the street at night and still, “no worries mate”.

So after waiting around for a while, I cruise through China town. Even during the day I’m finding myself disoriented, I can totally see how I got lost my first evening here, so many twists and turns. China Town is pretty cool and it has lots of good deals, if one were so inclined. It’s also a bastion of cheap street meat and cheap street eats, I love cheap street eats. Why pay $5US for this massive meal when you can get exactly what you want for say ~$2US? On that note, I’m hooked on fresh juice from the street, a decent size cup, orange being my favorite is only ~$0.33US.

In the China Town here you can buy anything from Prada shoes for $60US, Lacoste shoes for ~$25US(look below), movies like 2012 for ~$2.50US, designer handbags galore and everything in between. Remember, the quoted price is the “opening bid” don’t buy at market, throw your bid in and see if they accept. I saw the same pair of shoes in 2 locations. One was much superior quality and cheaper. I told the guy with the lesser quality ones I could get a better pair for cheaper around the corner, he replied “how much do you want to pay?” They also have tones of Hugo Boss, Gucci, Burberry laptop cases which appear to be a decent grade of leather.

On that note, trademarks are a joke these days. If you have a new company, don’t waste the registration fee, why?

• You have to pay to register a trademark
• You have to pay to enforce a trademark
• Most trademarks are only enforceable in country of registration
• Trademarks get no respect overseas
• Most things are produced overseas
• Trademarks are for say “Sony” with a $26.89 BILLION $ market cap on the NYSE.

As nice as much of the merchandise is, it’s still “expensive” and I’m not a mule. It’s expensive because it’s imported from China then marked up. Your “price” incorporates shipping costs as well as the vendors profit. I’m not a mule as in, why buy something more expensive in say Malaysia, then like a mule “carry it around the globe”, mules carrying things right? I’d rather keep my load light, if I were so inclined to purchase such said items, I’d do so in Hong Kong or China, 2 places I plan on attending on these travels anyways and much closer to / in the source.

Long story short, China Town is right near the bus station in the PUDU district and it’s worth checking out, if you aren’t traveling the globe and just hitting up Kuala Lumpur, yeah the deals are good, comparable to Thailand. Those Prada shoes I was looking at actually look really good and are made of leather, $60US(before performing the art of haggling) is much better than $590CDN+tax, yes? Then again if a shoe doesn’t feel comfortable, even $1US is too much to pay. The only time I can see a reason to buy “uncomfortable shoes” is if someone is an outfit freak and they need some specialized shoe to match some outfit they wear every now and then. If it’s for a daily wear, forget about it, seriously.

Right now, it’s ~11:30PM local time, I need to go buy tooth paste and a tooth brush. I just found my toothbrush on the floor, in the corner of the room, I’m no prude but I am prudent and the bristles are bent to #$@#. I think I’m going to go back to China town, peruse some movies and buy some cheap food, perhaps even have a drink at Reggae Bar. Come to think of it, If I were so inclined, I could eat and buy a movie for the night which isn’t released yet for less than a MacDonald’s Big Mac Combo, makes you think… On that note, the movie and meal will be less than 1 single beer here, also makes you think? Finally, I bought a round of tequilla shots(strongest I’ve ever tasted mind you) for myself and the 4 ladies I had the pleasure of partying with the other night, that was 50 ringgit, I could of bought those Lacoste shoes.

Good day,