Travel Talk

Saturday Night Survey & Such

Good evening, day, whatever.

Last night was interesting. It was a cool calm evening, a welcome change from the humidity. I went to that internet cafe I loathe and printed 41 copies of the survey. The price they charged for print pages was disgusting and 41 is where the “value proposition” really kicked in, so to speak. I figured if I got 10 entries it would be a good day.

Bought a large Chang and hailed a cab, got dropped off near my old guest house and took a series of back alleys and found no one. I enjoy having a large chang with me when walking the streets at night. It’s great to defend yourself with dogs and if a “random mob” is looking for a mark, the guy carrying around a large chang is definitely more hardcore than someone drinking a Leo or a Singha. It’s 6.4% and the cheapest of the lot. Notorious for the “Chang Over”.

I found some guys eating dinner and I asked them about the survey, they promptly told me to go “$@# myself.” Great, what a start? Never one to be deterred I kept with it and started getting them filled out. Youngest person surveyed was 18 and the oldest was 56. People from Russia, Poland, Czech Republic, Germany, France, Canada, USA, Spain you name it. The survey does not ask where someone is from as it’s irrelevant, we’re all from planet earth, last time I checked.

Ran into a crew from Tampa drinking vodka from the bottle outside a 7/11. They filled out the survey and I bought a bottle. We hung out and the lady was very attractive and sociable, she offered to help me and in no time, everyone walking by was filling them out, some people even waiting their turn…

Hit up some other clubs and in no time, all 41 were gone, wow? Many of my thoughts on the answers were correct, others wrong. That said we managed to get 4.01% of my minimum number to have a “good sample” on the first evening. Also identified some further additions to such said survey.

At this point I went into my favorite bar. There was 1 seat left at the bar  next to a beautiful blond lady so I grabbed it and put down the envelop with filled surveys and ordered a stiff vodka redbull. The gent behind the bar stored my surveys and I began making small talk with the lady. Turns out she is from Germany and I met her earlier that night doing the survey, haha.

So you know no one, talk to 41 people and 50% of them end up at the same bar you are later. Not bad for a guy who knows no one? The Tampa crew came back and hung with them while dancing to whatever was playing. At about 4am I decided it was time to go and venture back into the night, make my way home, slowly.

Eyes met with a nice girl from Ireland, I told her I was leaving and she was welcome to join, she said “sure”. We walked away from the club towards the almighty 7/11 when I realized I forgot my envelop. She said she’d wait but for some reason I insisted she come with. Got my envelop and she went to the bathroom. Upon exiting she ran into a group of her friends and decided to go to another club, I was leaving so I bid her farewell and tipped my hat.

For some reason paying a tuk tuk driver didn’t interest me so I began walking. That’s when I remembered this was how I got bitten by that dog in Bangkok, walking around lonely streets at night. The dogs run the show in the wee hours of the day… No traffic, no people, no heat and no rules. Also began getting tired and the realization of how far my apartment was started to set in, also I didn’t have a large Chang as self defense to conveniently quench my thirst in the process.

I hit the main drag and flagged down the next vehicle driving by. It was a pork delivery man on a moto with a side car filled with pig guts and well, pigs. I told him I’d pay him 20b to drive me to “landmark near my place”. He smiled and I jumped in the pig guts side cab and we drove down some deserted streets. He had no clue where I lived and we got lost.

After about 10 minutes of driving around areas I know not and the occasional smile we asked some younger Thai gents in front of a 7/11.  Knew we were close the whole time and within minutes dropped me off. I offered to pay him but he wouldn’t take it. That moment I realized that he never knew I offered to pay him originally. Some random foreign guy sweating profusely just flagged him down in the dead of night minutes before dawn and jumped in. He probably liked the company though, seemed like a lonely job. He left smiling, as did I.

Woke up at 1pm with a massive puddle of water in front of my bed, wtf? No, can’t be, can it? Never leave all your clothes and random books on the floor, all of them soaked… Bought a bottle of water and didn’t put the lid on properly, then put it in the fridge sideways and well it leaked out all over my floor.

The power of routine took over and after putting on the same outfit I wore last night, head to the mall. Ordered a spicy soup as I do everyday and began eating. Heard some gents talking about golf courses so I asked them where I could get clubs. Turns out one of the gents has extra clubs and goes once or twice a week. He knows a great little place that after 4PM it’s 100b ALL YOU CAN PLAY. It’s a very challenging 9 hole and they usually play 18 before heading in.

After that drank coffee with him and discussed what was wrong with the youth of today while I enjoyed cigarettes and he smoked his pipe. I’m looking forward to going golfing again in a major way. Golf clubs are expensive over here, they wanted 100US for a big bertha steelhead 5 wood, that’s more than back home and obviously used as it’s “OLD”.

Just eat an amazing thai dish at that little local place I mentioned a few updates ago on my quest to find the steak. It’s kinda like being at someone’s house, doesn’t feel like a restaurant.  The whole family and friends were watching a soccer game and I sat down watched the game and eat a dinner that would cost $14.99+tax+tip for $1.33US and then left. I really like that place, do believe a new “routine hangout” has been discovered.

There is a lady who works in a massage parlor near here who looks like she loves her job and would be really good at it. I do believe one should go pay her a visit immediately. I love Thailand for many reasons, also one can get egregious from 8pm-5am and spend ~$20-30 or way less if one were on a budget, wow.

Tips hat,

P.S: Have a funny video from last night of a group filling out the survey discussing chat roulette and other funny stuff. I’d share it but it reads out the entire survey which is proprietary information of the “House of SHABL”.

P.P.S: Imagine how much cooler North America would be if there weren’t so many rules? One could buy hot soup from a nice old lady waiting for the bus in the winter, cold drinks on the streets from random people in the summer and good food all time of the year. We’re so multicultural the plethora of street dining options would make ones mouth water…

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