A MOST ALARMING SWELLING

Good day to you weary travelers, cubiclesque (sic) creatures and homeless hobos,

Where to begin, where to begin? Today was filled with holiday like highs, laughable lows and tremendous treachery. When you read swelling you think of my head, forget that. I don’t even know what it has to do with anything but sounded right so there you go and here we are. All is questionably true except that last part. I sit back like an Aristocrat, pondering my next move while ashing my first cigarette in a week. Delicious yet disgusting, oh the dichotomy.

I was going to write about how today was a great day, prosperous for all those who were lucky enough to wake up an say “I’m alive”. I felt that way, indeed I did kind sir an gentle ladies, indeed I did.

I went on a leisurely jaunt after having breakfast and chatting with some local ladies. They asked if they could join me, I said “absolutely”. Shortly after, I was sipping sugar cane and drinking black ice coffee hanging out with cabbies. They saw these ladies come and I approached them.

They asked where the river was, I pointed, asked about hotels and brought them to mine. The gents at the front desk were thrilled, why wouldn’t they be and my hotel rocks, it most certainly does.

After that I went to a silk shop and brokered a deal. Let’s rewind to the night before. After writing the death of ties, I was glad I didn’t own a tie or it may had been the death of me. (I’m kidding, relax). I had another “AHA” moment, I will spare you the video this time. I met a hippy who told me about something she bought and I did some research… For the love of cream corn on a solid sliver of sheppards pie, this idea is lucrative.

Not lucrative like Lexx Luther lucrative but lucrative like extra cash, for nothing, potentially, until I die. I registered some domains and setup some auction accounts. Everything was fine in the life of this gangster (that’s a song lyric, I’m not a gangster but you knew that) and I was feeling fresh.

Later went to pick up the shorts, look great… Then put hand in pocket and I’m like “this is not deep enough” so in my best Vietnamese I barked the size they should be, that I’d be back later and “see ya later”. They laughed and said see you later. Doing business over here is good but seriously, YOU NEED TO KNOW what you want or you won’t get what you are hoping for.

That’s when I talk to an old friend and he rained on my g0d d@mn parade. I mean, some people just don’t get it. They say “why waste your time over an extra ~$500+ a month to start… You see, I think if I put in ~20 hours to get “something going” and it pumps out ~$500+ a month until I”m old and grey or even a few years, that’s a good ROI. How many hours DO YOU SPEND watching some BS reality show because yours is so boring that these ingrates actually look interesting. We have American Idol (vomit), Dancing with the stars (Dry Heave), Survivor (now I’m really getting sick). Also remember, every business that buys someone a big @$$ boat started with a few dollars trickling in. You’ll never know unless you go…

I digress.

So this one ecommerce site wouldn’t let me sell and it made me angry. I gave them my CDN cell number and there is no partner network here so they couldn’t’ call me. Gave all info necessary AND MORE. Ok Ok yeah they don’t want fraud but @#$! if someone IS A FRAUD they know you can go and get a sim card for NOTHING that is totally anonymous, it doesn’t make sense. Then again anyone involved in any type of bureaucracy gave up their “free will” eons ago and has no common sense, if they did they’d be running for the hills, the hills I say.

So I walk around all bored and run into some friends, my buddy upgrade his shop, it looks “smashing”. He was like “look man, only 1 tarp now”, it’s a fancy patio setup with a massive cover. Most have make shift tarps you use for camping that over lap and are propped up with sticks when it rains.   It also has a fruit stand where they make shakes. He said it already made a good return today, he was thrilled. I then bought 1 EURO for 20,000VDN, you can’t cash coins. He asked “how much worth”. I’m like hmmm ~25-30,000 he’s like how about you give me 20,000, my friend wants to unload it, I say “certainly.

I digress once more.

Anyways run into those girls that I showed around and we go for a drink. I quit the pain killers because I can take the pain, it’s not bad. Also on pain killers you can like sleep on your sore part of your face an not feel it, that can’t be good for healing and for the last time, it doesn’t really hurt anymore, unless I lift my brow or get excited and open my jaw too wide. I have a thick head an a big mouth, I’m “good to go” think “Taco Bell Commercial” where they are trying to kick out that deadbeat in his late 20’s who STILL LIVES AT HOME, WTF!?

Anyways they were drinking and I was bored so I “excused myself” to get back to business. Wasted 2.5 hours on the phone and when I finally got off with no clear resolution I went for some food but it was closed. Man, I was livid! I laughed at the loneliness of the sordid streets like the lunatic a few years shy from the looney bin that I am. I then went into a bar and ordered some food. To be frank, if you’re in a “tourist area” the street vendors give you jack for like 2/3’s the price. Just go to a restaurant, this Cao Lao or whatever was dope. On the way home, I bought a large mango and eat it mid stride, delicious.

So here I am, tomorrow OR in an hour should I get an email back maybe I can get this site thing going and even if I don’t, I don’t really care. I COULD have spent the day on the beach, lying face down on my bed or staring at a ceiling fan  or drank coffee until I felt uncomfortable in my skin and started looking like an old dog in the mirror asking myself “Who am I!?” I’ve done all so you know.

Anyways I have some good samples here and I WILL get that  thing worked out and I will set up some mini sites. You see, you’re either an entrepreneur or your not. Sammy Security won’t do crap unless he’s guaranteed payment and thinks anything else is a hassle. I on the other hand will do whatever it takes for the possibility of future profit and find having to get up everyday and commute to work to be a most horrendous hassle. Different strokes, different folks, I like the egg whites, you probably like the yolks! I kid, I kid, these are just jokes and not to meant to offend any average blokes.

Tomorrow I call travel insurance. I am aware of 2 things in this world an they are as follows: I will go home at some point this summer and Ted Koppel is / was both informative and witty. The rest is a mystery.

Tips hat,

P.S: I didn’t feel like writing anything today, dare I say… This blog has become more of a hobby. Something for me to look back upon when I’m old and grey, hopefully it will be a very long time, until that fateful day.

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