24 Hour Trip by Bus, Taxi, Train and Airplane from Yogyakarta to Phuket

Ladies, gentlemen, investors, imbeciles, travelers and troglodytes alike,

I write this to you from a small internet cafe in Patong, Phuket, Thailand.  I will recount for you a ~24 hour trip from Yogyakarta, Indonesia to Phuket, Thailand in as few words as possible as this keyboard blows and nothing irritates me more than an insensitive keyboard.

I digress.

At 6PM I head over to the train station in Yogyakarta, about 1 hour later I check the band-aid I put on my infected knee, wholy $!@# things have gotten “worse”. It’s black and has this weird chunky chili sauce coming out of it. I make a small video I will feature in some post about infections, whenever I get around to it. I squeeze it and it feels “crunchy”. First some puss colored green, yellow and orange before the chili starts. I could of served a table of 6 with the “chili sauce” for their warung meal if I had any takers.

At this point I lay on 3 bandaids and roll over to the train station slightly stressed about the deteriorating state of my knee.  Traveling while not being able to walk is like a truck driver with no wheels… Side note, lots of sex tourists here. I think I’ve wandered into a queer part of town because everyone I’ve seen lately looks really queer, heck the guy next to me is taking the blush?(took me a while to come up with this) out of his “murse” and looking at himself in the little mirror. This is just some random street in front of the posh hotel I mention at the bottom of this update.

Yes, I’m digressing again.

So I get to the train station and ask the meds if they can help me, they oblige and “hook me up” for free. Get on the train. Instantly I hear this whack music and there are two lady boy’s walking down the isle looking for $. These aren’t typical lady boys, they look like the cast of cheers only with wigs on, it was weird. The guy next to me says “uniques” and starts laughing. Remember how I told you that the toilets were creep shows? Look below, that’s it, that’s all.

This is a night train so I lock my pack then wrap the straps around the top compartment so no one could get them, howe clever. The guy next to me is cool and my age which is relieving as the guys behind me were majorly creepy. I didn’t sleep a wink, I just drank criminal amounts of coffee and read random literature and stared out the window.

Get to Jakarta station, Pasa Sengen or something like that at 4:30AM. WHAT A ZOO. I am so glad I did not opt to go to Jakarta that first night. There is also tones of street kids and whatnot all over the map, people sleeping on the floor everywhere. I see one cop, a really fat guy smoking a cig with rolls in his stomach. You had to be there the place was “priceless” in a get me out of here type way.

Hop in a cab, least I could say was that this cab was rare, but I said “nah forget it yo …” or something like that. This guy sped like a demon and I have it all on fim. For a while I thought he was taking me for a tour of the city on my dime, which was “ok” as I was going to ask him for one. The ride to the airport cost me more than my train ticket, odd how that works, yes? I will say the executive trains look way nicer, I will try and get on one next time as the train I was on, was like a park bench for 10 hours, seriously. The only pro was that you could smoke, in your seat. I smoked so much I gave the rest away when I left Indonesia and now regret it as smokes are 3x as pricey here.

Get to the airport and buddy dropped me off at wrong terminal, thanks guy. Cop tells me where to go, get there. Now I’m there and my bandage is running off and puss is running down my leg. Go to the hospital in the airport, right next to the interrogation room. YOU DO NOT want to go to that room, I could feel the negative energy and I envisioned guys yelling at the top of their lungs ” TELL ME WHERE….” Then putting a cigarette out in the guys eye or something, very least his arm.

The ladies loved “chatting it up” and interrogated me as to why I was not married. I told her what’ s the rush? They asked why I don’t have a traveling girl friend I said “most are dirty and possibly infected like my knee” or so I assume at least. They laughed at that, I went on my way.

Realize you should pay airport fee before exchanging your money, then my bag got broken into at the airport but luckily I was first through customs. Take the “airporter” what a crappy bus to Phuket Town as supposedly lots of places for a decent room. THERE WAS NO ROOMS! They were all crap over drastically over priced for what felt like a down and out African city in the middle of nowhere. I found a lady looking for Patong but she got in my nerves in a “I can’t stand being around you” type way. As a result I ditched her by walking the other way when she stopped to ask a question. She bartered in a really aggressive I’m going to make you pay type way. Not my style. At this point I’m walking around lost, tired and it starts to POUR.

I arrive as the bus is about to leave, see another hotel go to the hotel and realize the bus is leaving run after bus and jump on as it’s peeling off. Wow, what a relief. The ticket was nothing, not even $1US and I get to Patong. Some guy on the bus who I chat with (0bviously, I talk to everyone) fills me on good places to stay. After finding places for a wide spectrum of prices I get a good room, good rate. Some lazies would of paid more for less but having no JOB except reading IBC and smiling as I see my stocks rise, I decided part of my job is being as “efficient” with my coin as possible. Heck I have nothing better to do. I spent 45 minutes today in the most expensive hotel in Patong’s lobby just “cooling my core” because I could.

Yeah, that’s my story. Last night was a write-off and hopefully today will be much of the same. Patong is an “alright  city” but the beach is so overcrowded it would make your head spin. I will post photos of that tomorrow. Maybe one below, who knows. I mean YOU CANNOT walk it is so crowded and I don’t know if everyone there is from Europe but “bikini bottoms” seems to be the #1 choice for men and women alike, young and old alike, it’s “different” to say the least. It’ s also much more expensive than other Thai islands because it has an airport. As a result it’ s mainly people looking to blow their loads on vacation and they raise the price of everything.

Tags: Indonesia, Jakarta, Phuket, Thailand, Yogyakarta